Crazy Busy Momma

New Home

2012-02-04T15:39:00.001-07:00

My new blog. I am no longer posting here at Crazy Busy Momma! I am now at www.wildbluecolorado.blogspot.com

I hope to see you there!!

2012-02-03T16:55:00.006-07:00

Waldorf-inspired Public School Offers a New Choice for Families in Fort Collins

Mountain Sage Community School is a free, public, charter school inspired by Waldorf education and sustain

able living. Approved by the Poudre School District Board of education October 2011, Mountain Sage is set to open in fall 2012. The school will serve K-4 students in its first year of operation, and will grow by one grade each year until becoming a K-8 school.

Mountain Sage is currently accepting Intent to Enroll forms for K-4 students and will be hosting a final informational enrollment event on Tuesday February 7th, 2012 from 6-7pm.

This event offer the opportunity to learn more, get involved, have your questions answered and meet the founders.

The informational enrollment event will be held on February 7th, at The Gardens on Spring Creek (2145 Centre Avenue, Fort Collins 80526) in the Evelyn Clark classroom from 6-7pm.

Created by parents and educators in Fort Collins, Colorado, Mo

untain Sage is dedicated to education that respects the creative journey of childhood. Waldorf-inspired education integrates the arts (music, movement, story, drawing and more) into the learning process of all academic subjects, offering students an experience that fully engages and empowers them. Waldorf-inspired education offers a time-tested, research based approach that enables each student to reach their highest academic and creative potentials. Sustainable living practices are fully integrated into school life to offer children the powerful experience of stewardship and positive community action.

To learn more visit www.mountainsagecommunityschool.org

Decompression

2011-07-27T00:10:00.008-06:00

I have heard tell of children needing some time (upwards of a year) to decompress from their school experiences before they are ready to attempt curriculum or any sort of organized homeschooling. This gives them time to unlearn negative behaviors, feelings, and even unwelcome educational methods.

I have found with Teilee that the first couple of months she needed extreme amounts of alone time at home. She craves this time the most in the early mornings. When we were homeschoolers she couldn't wait to get out of the house. Daily trips were requested and we were limited mostly by my energy or lack of. Recently she is still craving home time but she is beginning to turn to her brother again. When she was in school she had a hard time playing with him. When she was home at night or on the weekend, she wanted to be alone. When she played with him it was not creative, inclusive play. It was non-cooperative and often antagonistic. I have heard many times over by parents that they do not have the patience to homeschool. I am amazed at how much more patience I needed when she was in school because of the personality changes and the strain in the sibling dynamics.

Landis has waited a long time for his big sister to return to him. To embrace him as a playmate, and friend and to play long hours of creative games with him. She helps him work on his workbook and loves to teach him anything he is willing to learn. I am absolutely astounded at what we lost when she went to school. This is only highlighted by what we have gained as she has been recovering from her school experience.

Several times in the last week they have insisted on playing nearly the entire day together in creative joy. This may not last or at least not at the intensity of which they are playing constantly now and so well together. However, right now I am so overwhelmed by this feeling of gratitude. That I know we are making the best decision for our family and for the kids by entering again into homeschooling.

Chicken in the Sink

2011-07-21T16:27:00.005-06:00

My mind has wondered lately to the ideal. What that is? How that exists in the imperfect and impermanence of life? As a family we take as much time that we can to plug in to the moment to realize its beauty. To acknowledge the gravity of where we are. That this will pass whether we wish it to or not. We try to breathe in the moments, whatever they may be. Change seems to be what has caused havoc and created new beauty in our lives. I am pondering this as I am standing next to Blackbird, our Americana chicken, as she bathes in our kitchen sink. Something is wrong with her, we believe she is egg bound. She is one of our oldest chickens and perhaps it is just her time. The last chicken we had died in 24 hours from this. I was not about to take any measures to save the last one, it is just a chicken I said, livestock. I still feel that way, but I am softened. If there is something I can do, I do. So here I am, making sure she doesn't decide to jump out of her warm bath, drinking my tea and talking to her as she softly clucks back. I am clearly not the rough and tough farmer I idealized upon embarking on urban homesteading. I am some mixture of gentle, grounded, tough, and a little strange.

It is a moment that I appreciate. The humor of it, the gravity, the change it means has come to me. Whether this chicken in this moment survives, we will soon know. This was a beautiful space in time to contemplate who I am and what I am working towards.
*The sink has been thoroughly disinfected.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T12:26:00.002-06:00

Recent Art Work

2011-07-08T21:06:00.003-06:00

Ketchup Jelly Fish

Follow Your Neck (not completed yet)

Shades of Grey

How to turn Eight

2011-07-02T15:55:00.025-06:00

It has been many years since we have attempted a birthday party. I have loved our small, intimate, family parties. After our busy spring when Teilee asked for a large party I knew I would have to be crazy to say yes. The reasons why we all deserved a big party began to whine in my head and suddenly I was anxiously awaiting the inevitable large party with all of our friends. Fortunately for myself, Teilee has excellent taste in friends. It was almost as though the party was for me!!
In advance I made a lovely wooden banner. Made from wooden rounds and painted with letters. It says, "Happy Birthday". I also made a banner that says "Teilee" and one that says "Landis". These will eventually become headboard decorations (without the happy birthday part).

I love multipurpose, reusable items that have been made from reclaimed materials. It sorta fits in with our Wooden Toy Garden lifestyle.

We decided to have a morning pancake party. The idea was gifted to me by a lovely friend and we couldn't have been happier about it. We had it at City Park beginning at 9:30-11:30 with a bring-your-own-lunch invitation after the party, and a trip to the pool after lunch. How lucky is our town to have a place like City Park and it's pool.

This was Teilee's party so it was dinosaur themed of course. We had a design your own necklace table and a create your own dinosaur garden. This was based on a traditional Waldorf activity, gnome garden building. We just substituted the gnomes for dinosaurs and viola! The kids crafted, played on the play ground and ate breakfast at our gluten free, dairy free, corn free, soy free pancake bar. We had coffee, juice, pancakes, homemade honey syrup, hard boiled eggs, lots of fresh fruit and veggies. Our guests brought their own plates and utensils to help reduce waste. Although I do wish I had brought extra plates, napkins, forks, cups etc... Thank goodness my parents were in town to help out! They prepared all of the fruits and vegetables, ran and defrosted the 100 pancakes (we had to premake some during the week and freeze them until the day of the party), went out and purchased extra plates and utensils, watched kids during the party, and cleaned up after the party as well. I am sure I forgot a few hundred things they did.

After everyone had gotten their craft on, eaten, and played thoroughly, I told Teilee's rainbow bridge story. Teilee is in the middle (purple and white dress) with the happy smile on her face.

The rainbow bridge story is one that we always tell. Teilee asks for it every year and can't wait to see how it changes. To prepare for the story it requires me to take some time to reflect on Teilee's past and how she has grown to be this child that she is. I share a little something about each year that she has been on earth.
Gifts were not requested, nor required, nor desired and yet they appeared. Her friends know her so well. Dinosaur inspired, carefully homemade, lovingly created gifts.

Then the kids ate and daddy took them swimming with some friends while Mommy, Grandma Lee, and Papa cleaned up!
We wound down the evening at home.

With cake of course. Teilee allowed me to do brownies instead of cake (Thank you, Thank you, Thank you). It is also our tradition that I make a cake into something, or decorate a cake in some special way. Brownies are just as capable of being designed as cake is!

Teilee unwrapped her gift from Grandma Lee and Papa Ken, and immediately showed us her sense of humor.

I am not sure if we can pull this off every year, nor do I aspire to. At least this year, we gave her a party to remember. Introducing my eight year old!

She's Eight

2011-06-25T00:30:00.004-06:00

Creating ideal

2011-06-07T22:39:00.006-06:00

Ideal moments are created randomly with intention.

One random day, in the middle of the errands, in the space of our to-dos, we pause often in the moments to remember why we are working hard and where our energies are best spent.

May Day/Beltane= Maeaster or Ostaltane

2011-05-02T20:20:00.009-06:00

Whew......after all we have been up against we postponed our Easter celebration this year.
We celebrated Ostara a month ago where we had our egg hunt and spring celebration, so I wasn't to worried about missing out on Easter Day festivites. Mommy is tight with the Bunny so I asked if he would come back when we were ready. He asked that I set out our eggs, once colored, and he would come and hide them and leave treats for the kids. Well, that day was a big day for us. That night we scrambled to get our eggs dyed (no pun intended). Red onion skin, red beets, golden beets, and turmeric (or what I had on hand) combined with vinegar and boiled in water left our house smelling strange. Then add white eggs and our chickens multi colored eggs and voila! Easter Eggs! Landis had his spring festival fundraiser for his preschool that evening so we made the dyes rushed off to that and then came home around 9:00. The kids threw the eggs in and we let them sit overnight. The bunny took them out and hid them and left the kids a few treats.
The kids are most excited about the hunt. Second best is seeing what the bunny brought, and then there is the excitement over what color the eggs turn out to be. I am not sure what turned the eggs greenish-blue, but am pretty sure it was the onion skin.

We are still a rush. Now we can move at our pace, and I am giving up things that can be given up. Beltane has been an oversight, and that is a hard one to miss. I am craving a bonfire! The kids don't remember that Easter was late, they barely blink an eye that there was no May Day/Beltane festivities. They are just in the moment enjoying the hunt. We could have made it painful and stressful to pull of Easter, but we choose to cut ourselves some slack. Sometimes being a rotten mom is the only way to truly give your children unabashed joy and yourself a little breathing room! Now off to unpack, get the garden in, finish the floors, fix the plumbing, paint the bathroom, fix the toilet, repair the gutters, remodel the chicken coop, weed the yard, replace the windows, etc.......... Poco a poco.

The move

2011-04-22T23:01:00.007-06:00

Before

After. Same time of day, same light, different quality. Still not done, it will get better.

So the week of the move I had, just had to get sick. I pushed past it for the entirety of a morning before succumbing to the awful illness. For two days I stayed in bed, I slept for hours at a time. In and out of awareness. I managed to tend the kids with spurts to the kitchen and back to bed. Of course the kids enjoyed extra tv and lots of alone play time. It was Thursday before the virus began to transform into a secondary sinus infection. No problem for me, I got this. As a sufferer of chronic sinus infections I knew I could at least function. And of course, we had saved almost all the packing for that week, being utterly consumed with remodeling before then. Friday we packed. Or rather I packed, and rested, and packed, and rested.

Saturday morning it was clear that I was entering a third infection located in my chest. My voice all but disappeared as help arrived and we loaded our house into the truck. My chest hurt, breathing was shallow and painful, and I was having a hard time hearing due to the sinus infection (fish bowl syndrome I call it). We loaded until around noon and traveled to the new house to unload. We unloaded and ate lunch. Our help, beautiful helpers left. Nick and I returned to the old house and loaded 2/3rds of the garage into the truck. We picked up the kids from our awesome friends house and had dinner with a few friends/helpers and went home to spend the night at our new house.

Whew! Sunday morning help arrived to load the remaining garage items and than we were off to unload at the new house. Then to lunch and then I collapsed. My voice was a labored whisper with spurts of sound.

This week we have been setting up the house, unpacking, and taking the kids to and from school and school events. T has 5 field trips in a week and a half!
Mid week, Nick finally caught what I had. He has missed work for two days and today he slept for 8 hours during the day.

The other day I slipped on the stairs, my left hand was in my back pocket fishing for a lost item and leaving me helpless to catch myself. As I flailed wildly with my right arm to catch something I slammed my back, rear, and neck into the steps as I bounced to a stop near the bottom. Ow. I admit, I cried. The house bit back. A nasty rug burn on my arm, bruises, and a few sore bones are recovering.
It is kinda poetic. Sorta how I feel emotionally.......slammed.

I am feeling like I have a few post traumatic move issues and need to get it all out. We are so happy and joyous to be in our new home. It will be the best thing for us. The daily walks/bike rides to the kids schools have been heavenly. The help we received was phenomenal. My friends gave more than they could give and I am still in shock/awe at how much gratitude I feel. We slammed this move together and so many wonderful friends were there to make it happen for us. I am swimming in emotion. Sadness for leaving our house/home, years of torturous unknowing, stress over the time frame which with we had to remodel and move, stress over what is on hand, extreme overwhelming gratitude and appreciation for my life, my house, my friends, my family, my children, my husband, life.

I am sure this one is gonna take a while to heal.

A portrait of a chicken coop move

2011-04-11T19:02:00.005-06:00

The best laid plans are sort of like the leftover chicken egg in the nesting box, you might get there a little cracked but hopefully you are still delicious.

What's the best way to transport chickens? Dirty Bit says hello new home, the other 12 stay tucked away.

Three of the misses enjoying a meal before settling in for the night at their new home.

Next week: Humans

Before & After

2011-04-05T18:36:00.004-06:00

The faucet was leaky, it had to be replace. When removing the old faucet there was a problem, the entire sink had to come out. The new-to-us sink was discovered months ago at our local construction thrift store ReSource. (The same store where the new-to-us faucet was found.) We seized the opportunity. I do not have a current picture of the entire transformation, however it is done.

Totoro

2011-03-21T22:23:00.006-06:00

My lovely sister Katelin plugged us into the movie "My Neighbor Totoro". A tale of two sisters whose bravery and curiosity allow them to discover three forest sprites they call Totoro. Totoro has been watched, during our failed 'no-tv month', many times and the kids love the adventures, magic, and wonder that unfolds at Totoro's fingers.
Snack one day became the three furry woodland sprites complete with an umbrella.
The kids happily slurped and giggled while devouring Totoro. I can't believe that we had not discovered Totoro before now.

We since have watched Ponyo by the same animator. Watching Ponyo became a bit eerie with all that is happening in Japan currently. It is about a fish-child who wants to become human for a boys love and her love of the boy. In doing so she unintentionally moves the moon closer and thus floods the world. The world created is beautiful, richly diverse, and spellbinding. The movie did allow for conversation to flow about the topic of the tsunami in Japan over the dinner table, and helped the children to understand the gravity of the situation without having all of the fear. These movies have held our wonderment and indulged our sense of creativity and exploration. I am so glad that Kati introduced us!

Two and a Half weeks

2011-03-15T22:10:00.012-06:00

I am working hard to try and stay in a place of gratitude and joy. In some cases it is exceptionally easy. We have always desired to flip houses and are having the divine pleasure of experiencing our own knowledge, abilities, and creativity. We are two and half weeks into our Frat-house-flip. We are intent on making our space livable so we can move in, in a few short weeks, with the hope of continuing to remodel while living there. We are enjoying the process. This last weekend mom came to visit which allowed us to work whenever we could without the kids there. The relief and complete appreciation for the help we have received is overwhelming. So many offers for help that I am feeling a deep adoration for my life and those fabulous people I am allowed to share it with.

I am recording as much as I possibly can, short videos and photos. These I intend to use on our www.woodentoygarden.com blog. We are working hard to fit this remodel into our own green/sustainable focus. While the transformation has been slow going (by my standards) we have achieved so much which is evidenced by the photos. We have filled thousands of holes, patched walls, patched ceilings, scraped the acoustic popcorn off of all the ceilings, taken down a wall, ripped out the carpet, removed the tile, prepped the walls, molding, doors, kitchen cabinets, and ceilings for painting, primed everything, painted the ceilings, repaired and prepped floors, and more. There are so many little details.

Of course all of this in on top of our lives and the kids are missing our focus and attention. This weekend was the longest amount of time that they have been away from us. For four days we worked as hard and long as we possibly could coming home after midnight most days. Of course it was still not as much time as we needed to get done as much as we wanted! Today mom left and I am so tired I am ready to pass out! The kids want my attention and I barely am standing. I want to find a way to sleep and then enjoy my kids. Balance.
I do not want to abandon the value most dear to me. The focus and balance and joy we reach to experience. I also am not sure how not to give that up. I just don't have time! After we move there will be more projects but we will be able to pick when we want to do them and at our own pace rather than our looming moving date.
We are only two and a half weeks in. I keep saying it because it feels like it has been forever and not enough at the same time. I must remind myself that I have more time and I have done so much already.

Ava

2011-03-06T19:34:00.003-07:00

So tonight, exhausted from a day of remodeling the new house and being with our children we realized we hadn't planned a dinner. A trip to whole foods was in order. Near the end of our time there, I was engaged in a conversation with Teilee about homeschooling and public schooling. I looked up and realized that a little girl, around 1 years old, across the aisle a few table to our North was grabbing her mothers sleeve and pointing at me. Several times she pointed, so of course I waved and smiled. She lunged toward her mom with a help me sort of fuss. I assumed I had frightened her and so immediately said, "I 'm sorry" to the mom. Than I turned back to Teilee and a second later I see the girl being set on the ground and she is making a mad dash for our table. She walks around and comes right up to me with her arms outstretched in a pick me up move. Apparently the fussing was, "quick mom, quick mom get me down I want to go to her." She climbed into my lap and sat gazing up at me for 10 min. I asked her her name and she pointed to herself and said, "ya". Than she pointed to me, I told her my name was Andi. I asked her parents her name and it was Ava. I introduced her to the kids, they introduced her to their toys, we sang a few songs to her, she showed us her clapping and waving skills. I think she would have sat in my lap gazing at me for an hour, but we had to leave at some point. I took her back to her seat and put her in her booster. She smiled and waved bye and blew me a kiss. Her parents were astounded. They said she has always been social, but never has she so vehemently sought out someone and been that comfortable. I felt so honored. I have been wondering why me? I must have looked like someone she knew, but wouldn't her parents know that that was the case? They said they didn't have a clue why. Maybe Ava saw me parenting the kids and wanted to participate, but she wasn't really interested in the kids, just me. I really do feel special. She made my night!

and if that weren't enough....

2011-03-03T19:37:00.010-07:00

I just love this picture. It is how I feel, flying high and hoping we are gonna land safely.

These days I spiral from feelings of inadequacy to holy-hell I'm a bad ass. Someday N and I will look back on these days with pride and wonderment at the inner strength we have had. My Current Laundry List:

N is enrolled in 18 credit hours (Mon-Fri from 8:00-12:00)
N is working part time (4 nights a week from 2 or 3 - 10:30)
We are running two home businesses, The Wooden Toy Garden, and my own documentation preparation and editing business.
T attends school where momma volunteers weekly (at least once)
L attends 3 days a week preschool for 3 hours. This is a co-op which means momma has a committee to work on, volunteers for field trips and holidays and parties, and is teach parent approx twice a month.
We are preparing to move to a new home.
We are remodeling said new home to make it livable.
The kids are in a rec program (one day a week each for a few hours)
Mommy is taking a religion course every Sat. morn. (9:30-12:00)
Various family holiday celebrations, communications with families and friends, playdates, doctors appointments, life
We live in poverty

Through the week N leaves at 7:45 am for school. He bike commutes since we are a one car family. (The kids and I bike commute in warmer weather to save gas, and get some great exercise.) In the really cold temperatures I became his chafur, which gave us a few more minutes together each day. N gets home around noon and does homework or sometimes dishes (since our dishwasher broke many months ago, we try to keep up). He leaves at 1:4o or 2:4o for work and than comes home around 10:30 at night (often later) and does homework.
So for 4 days in the week T sees Daddy in the morning for 15 min (she wakes around 7:30) and that's it. N is doing really really really well in school. I am so proud of his effort and commitment. I try to mirror those efforts at home.

The poverty issue I included because it is a massive time factor. When my family has a need (like underwear, not like a new dishwasher) I check freecycle, craigslist, my mom, my friends and as a last resort the thrift stores, but only if I can afford it. Many years I have learned to live without plastic bags, haircuts, pants, aluminum foil, shampoo, etc. In my creative, problem solving brain I sometimes find the absolute joy in the lets-just-see-what-happens. Can we live without it? I believe that my kids would neither identify themselves as have-not's nor would other persons find them lacking. My gifts through this time have been simplicity and family unity, not to be taken lightly. Also the extreme gift of being supported. I am beyond lucky, joyously fortunate! I have a family without which we would be miserable and depleted. I have a community that steps in when I need them to, and is there to lend any hand they have. And let me clarify, by poverty I mean as a family of four we make below poverty levels for a two person family. I read a story today about a poor destitute family of four who were barely making it. They could only feed their children carrots, peanut butter, and applesauce for lunch. My first thought was, "they can afford applesauce?!" They were the poverty stricken ones worthy of a news story and they made over twice what our family made. I am guessing the persons writing the story couldn't imagine anyone surviving/thriving on less.

I cook nutritious, whole, organic foods every meal. We eat GF, DF, Sugar almost-free, processed grains almost-free, and T doesn't eat nuts or chocolate (except at school). All of these food restrictions have helped us to stay healthy and have been guided by our doctor. Picky eaters and all, we are doing it. Once a week we eat dinner with Daddy at work. I organize and purge, and now pack every day. I do the taxes and budget. I laugh and play with the kids alot! We plan our weekly meals and shop once a week (I am hoping to extend at least the planning part to once monthly). I take my Sat. class as a weekly time commitment for myself. It is something I look forward to, and it won't last forever. I tend the chickens, hamster, and cats. I cut hair, trim nails, brush teeth. I am trying to design our new living space and have come up a little empty. I have lots of ideas, but they feel incomplete, they feel separate and uninspired. I haven't had the time for much music making, picture taking, sew happening, scrapbooking, painting, or other artistic enrichment. Today I looked at pictures of a friend's home (I have always admired her style) and felt so inadequate. I know some of it took money but the vast majority of creation came from her brain, her left brain. I am gonna have to find some moments of free time to find my muse. To expand the creativity that has been repressed by To-Do's. I am ready to get my hands beautifully dirty.

So we got a lot....going on, but that is the good news we got a lot....going on!:) I am so excited to be able to remodel a home. To get creative, to watch something come together, to build for a better future. We are moving towards something and that feels so dang powerful.
Today I am trying to live in the present moment of being overwhelmed.

My version of beautifully dirty.

Cabin Trip

2011-03-01T21:03:00.006-07:00

The kids couldn't contain their excitement. We arrived at around 11:00 am on Sunday morning and as Nick and I began to prepare lunch the kids ran around the cabin picking their beds and giving tours to each other. It was last minute, it was quickly researched, it was a short trip, it was heavenly. Middle of the week we happened to sell something and, realizing that we were going to have some insanely busy months ahead, we decided to seize the opportunity (and the extra Moohlah) to escape for some family bonding. Some "us" time. We picked a place in Red Feather that had a cabin available for one night. We called and asked for special last minute pricing. After arriving, and lunching, and relaxing, than we headed out for some fun.

We left warm spring air for winters cool blast. That day, like many others up there was incredibly windy. Beautiful but not the kind of day that you want to go play in the snow.

We had planned to take a sleigh ride and so while we waited Landis tried out some skis that dear friends had loaned to us.

Teilee made a happy little snow burrow to shield her face from the blowing wind/snow.

Our sleigh ride lasted for about 1.5 hours and had a mid stopping point where we had hot chocolate (mine was spiked), and cookies (brought our own GF one's of course).

On the way back the kids got to drive Dic and Doc. "Dic, Doc, step up", and off they went.
After a cold day out, a nice warm evening in (testing their muscle powers).
We had one major kink in our plans, we were sure that there was a kitchenette in the cabin, and upon arriving were informed that there was not. Nick had a full menu planned, with steak and steamed asparagus. Well, there is more than one way to steam asparagus. Fortunately the cabin did have a fridge, a microwave, and a few mugs. Steak was replaced with hot dogs, but otherwise the menu stayed just about the same. (Yes, Nick, your wife IS a genius)

That evening was family game night!!!!

The next morning Teilee made us the "Song Family". What a performance it was!
Before we hit the road Monday morning, around 10:00 am we took one family portrait. A very very very short trip, but a well deserved rest.
One of my favorite characters, that often appears when kids get restless in the car, is Goobleck. Goobleck was thoughtfully wrapped by the children so that he could stay warm for the ride home. Beware, Goobleck is ornery and pretty silly. (Yes, I will do ANYTHING to make my kids laugh.)

That was our cabin trip, wish it could have lasted longer, but there will be another someday.

Cabin Fever

2011-02-22T21:37:00.003-07:00

Nick in a moment of complete and absolute relaxation. (Story and more pictures to follow soon)

Full Snow Moon

2011-02-21T22:25:00.010-07:00

I love The Spring Creek Children's Garden. Even in Feb. it is a beautiful place. In the summer kids swarm around the giant watering can fountain and play area. In the winter it is peaceful, quiet, serene, and still so so much fun. It is only a short bike ride away on our local trail system.

The kids had the run of the place and of course loved to play in the Dr. Seuss house, aka "the restaurant", where they served up french fries and pancakes. One of the best play opportunities this time of year are with seeds. Seeds for throwing in the creek, seeds for cooking with, seeds for gifting to the fairies. We made our seed pod offering to the fairy garden several times.

Besides spontaneous play, the garden offer classes and plant trading and now an outdoor kitchen for events. We came after Valentines Day and found these lovely hearts hanging from the trees.

The closet homeschooler inside me loves all the educational opportunities. Interactive sundials, information about plants and trees, the months of the year, and so so much more. This time of year it is hard to see the beauty in the sparsity, the brown and gray landscape that surrounds us. I have learned to love it. I love walking through brown and red fields of grasses. I love the anticipation of what is brewing under the earth. The end of winter, beginning of spring is a time of energetic waiting. Such exuberance can be found in the quiet solitude of this season.
The gardens is a grounding space and such a joy to experience. A shining example of how to embrace the seasons and the beauty of each.

Feb. 15th 2011

2011-02-15T23:05:00.008-07:00

Today has been another astounding summation of my mothering life. After the excitement of V-day Teilee stayed home from school today. Her stomach was upset and rather than risk it we decided to stay home. Well, early in the day I scrambled to get us ready for mama sing something I hate to miss and had forgotten about until 5 min before it started. We wound up getting dressed, preparing snack and getting there without being terribly late. Sing, snack, home, lunch, nap time, preparing snack for the afternoon and dessert for dinner, and running errands. Then we took advantage of the amazingly beautiful sunny Feb. day and went for a bike ride to our local Spring Creek Gardens (an amazing community garden and horticulture center). They have a great children's garden and classes for kids and adults, an outside kitchen and amazing walking grounds. It is so peaceful and beautiful in the winter. Daddy biked with us there and then went on to work. The kids and I returned home a few hours later and I unpacked and picked up the house before starting dinner. All this with a migraine. Got the kids dinner, did dishes, got T in a bath (Landis will have one tomorrow night). Got the kids ready for bed, cut their hair, trimmed and filed Teilee's nails. Folded and put away 3 loads of laundry with another in the dryer and washer (and 2 more waiting to be done). Then I blogged while downloading the pictures from the camera into the computer. Now it is 11:00 pm. I am exhausted, falling asleep standing up tired. While today was an amazingly fun fun fun day absolutely nothing notable gets checked off my to-do list. The house (despite efforts) is still a mess, there is still laundry and dishes, and everything that NEEDS to be done still NEEDS to be done. Taxes, my other 2 home businesses, uncluttering, planning, packing, returning emails and phone calls, sending the mail, registering, research, paperwork, etc..... is still left to do. Plus no one will really notice what I DID do. No one will really notice that the kids hair is 1/2 inch shorter (yet out of the eyes now), no one will see T's polished fingernails or that I gave her her nightly massage therapy (for her toe-walking). No one will realize that there were three loads of dishes that were washed and put away, or that their pants, shirts, socks, etc... were folded and put away. Ahhhhhhh. While doing all of these unnoticeable tasks the kids complained and whined and, like all children, only notice what I don't do.
I explained it to Nick in grocery terms. Imagine stocking shelves all day, mopping floors, clearing out backstock, tending to customers while your boss constantly complained that you weren't doing the other thing that they wish you were doing instead. Tending to a customer by pushing their cart while they whined that it should be a bigger cart, roll faster, and why can't you just make it fly. Doing all this while trying to always speak kindly, be playful and fun, address each comment/complaint/statement and always know exactly what to say. Also you must find extreme gratitude for the opportunity to serve this complaining customer and your dissatisfied boss. Then you finish the cleaning and stocking to find yourself extremely exhausted (like you've never felt in your life). You clock out, ready to have glass of wine or just brush your teeth and go to bed, when you walk through the store on your way out you realize that everything you did throughout the day has been undone. Groceries are everywhere, the floor is a mess, the backstock is piling up, and tomorrow you have to start all over again without ever getting to make any real progress towards restocking or that remodeling project you wish you could get to to make your life easier.
Whew.....that is why mothers often feel so unappreciated, lonely, and frustrated by the task. Today I feel all of this but I have the extreme pleasure to say that emotion does NOT find itself a lasting position. I had an AMAZING day. I LOVED getting to be with both of my children, eating dinner with them, biking to the local garden, getting to read to them. I feel so fullfilled. Why? I have let go of the expectation that I will 'catch up'. I am learning to shut out others disappointment in my inability to prioritize them. I am a good person, a good friend, a good daughter, a good wife, a good mother. But....what comes first right now is that last one, being mom. I am sorry that I may not return your call, or email, I may procrastinate my obligation to work on something for a business, or for the kids schools or whatever. I assure everyone, including myself, that what I am replacing those 'obligations' with are these opportunities and memories that are so much more important and fulfilling and valuable. I refuse to feel guilty for that! As long as I remember that joy, that blessing of these experiences, and breathe in each moment the exhaustion will be a welcome friend.

T's Favorite

2011-02-15T21:32:00.010-07:00

Valentines Day 2011

Honestly this one is not one of my favorites, the kids however love love love valentines day. We work to undervalue the junk food and materialism of the day and instead focus on the ability to express our gratitude and appreciation for those we love. Here was Landis' amazement at the table that Daddy had so lovingly prepared the night before.

Daddy had to work in the evening so breakfast was the meal that we were able to all sit down for. We had a few treats, like orange juice, chocolate tea, and bacon!! Then mommy took the kids to school and Daddy went to his school for the morning. Mommy ran errands, volunteered in T's classroom and prepared the items that I was to bring to T's class party in the afternoon all in the 3 hours that Landis was in preschool. Oh yeah, jam packed.

Teilee dressed herself And her brother for the day. He wore his best suit and she wore hearts and pink. She insisted that we all dress up, preferably in red.
Here is Landis after preschool looking chill. ;)

Then Landis and I got to go to T's class party. Teilee had Landis help her hand out her valentines bookmarks. In an effort to reduce the waste of this day the kids decided to make bookmarks for their friends. We lovingly worked for 2 weeks prior to get them done. This was complicated by Teilee's desire to customize every bookmark based on her 17 classmates/4 teachers interests and personalities. She finished them, which was my only requirement. The kids were so excited handing out their valentines!!
Then the kids had snack and a craft before ending their day. I hope that someday we can remove the idea that celebration/happiness= junk food. Many kids in the class are allergic anyways, why not just remove this 'tradition'. I love T's school and its community for many of it's creative, alternative ways of thinking except in this area! We have this idea that we are taking something away from our children, but really....they don't notice at this age. Extra recess, extra crafts, song, stories, etc... would easily take the place of sugar. Besides it makes it harder for me to 'treat' my children at home when they are getting it at school too! It is not true that sugar is safe in moderation. It is our way to justify why we continue to offer this 'drug' to our children. It is the last thing their growing brains need! Ironically we are in the middle of a school challenge called Schools on the Move, where children monitor what they are eating as well as their activity levels. Every day they are to get 5 servings of fruits and vegetables and 60 mins of activity/exercise. This is a pretty easy task for our family, but kinda pointless all the kids if they are getting a pound of sugar a day!!! Besides sending such an awful, hypocritical, message to our children. Okay, off my soap box.

We escaped with minimal deserts in the day (thanks to our allergies we were able to dodge the cookie/candy gauntlet) and for dinner we had a shrimp, veggie stir fry with chocolate covered strawberries for desert.
Teilee said the favorite part of her day was having Landis and her mommy at her school party! She loved having him help her with her valentines. They were so cute together, she led him around the room, helped him find his seat, helped him with his plate and drink, and loved showing off her big sister skills!! Teilee and Landis agreed that we should do every Valentines Day just like this Valentines day. I think so too. :)

Snow Days

2011-02-14T21:12:00.007-07:00

On our snowy cold days Teilee left us dozens of messages all over the yard, written with an icicle. Of course we made it to the park to sled. Landis and I scourged the stores earlier in the day and while sleds are apparently out of season they are on clearance in a few stores.

I love you mom & Dad, Teilee

Another artist (I think I know who) made this at the park. We do love our spirals, snow spirals are so incredibly beautiful.

As I welcome the warm sunny days I am so grateful for the opportunities to experience these snowy wonderlands with my children.

On my dining room table

2011-02-11T14:05:00.008-07:00

We have a ritual every night at diner. When it is diner time, I ring the bell and the kids come to the table (sometimes they help set it). We light a candle and sing a song. We have several in our repertoire.

Fairy Sprite,
Fairy Sprite,
Bring to us your golden light.
We can light a candle,
love can light a star,
both of them are wondrous shining where they are

On occasion we have burst into a number by the Black Eyed Peas:) During dinner we share the best and worst parts of our day and something we are grateful for. Lately I have asked for them to share a part of their day, rather than specifically best/worst parts. It just gives me an in to open up conversation and establish that this is what we do at dinner (not throw food, or bounce out of our chairs, or sing throughout diner, or get out of our chairs to breakdance, which has all happened).

This has become important to the kids each night especially since Nick works in the evenings. It keeps things consistent for them, and ties us together as a family. One early morning Daddy bumped the diner bell and from back in her bedroom Teilee shouted, "It's diner time."

Lately my table has been half filled with Valentines Day card making for the kids classes. 50 valentines please. I hate the waste and I refuse to buy the already made cards (although I completely get why). This year we are making bookmarks. Landis is stamping, drawing, punching, and writing his name on all of his. Teilee is custom making one for each of her classmates with their interest in minds. Wood colored paper and a soccer ball for one, a dragon for another. If I could have convinced her to simplify I would have, but as long as she gets them done she meets my requirements. I look forward to clearing the space but am enjoying the creativity that is coming forth.

Many beautiful things are created at our dining room table.

Happy Dragony Valentines Day!!

Chinese New Year

2011-02-05T15:44:00.006-07:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

Welcome the year of the rabbit. Welcome to a year of calm, reflection, peace and respite.

Winter Weather Flash Back

2011-02-01T21:53:00.004-07:00

In the Middle of Poudre River Winter of 2010.
Happy Groundhog day/Imbolc/Candelmas!

Flash Back

2011-01-25T09:52:00.002-07:00

Teilee and Adaira November 2008

New Year

2011-01-02T11:06:00.021-07:00

The one tradition each B-W wants to do for the Winter Solstice/Yule/Christmas:

Teilee: Celebrate St. Nicholas Day and Christmas
Landis: Hang outside Christmas Lights
Dad: Make and eat a special Christmas Dinner
Mom: Family Light Night Bike Ride
Here are a few pictures from our month of December. Yes we got to do it all! We were even able to share x-mas day with Aunt Jessi and Uncle Ryan, as well as Grandma Lee and Papa.
I tried to edit the millions of pictures to help sum up our December.
Thanks St. Nicholas

Mom and Dad made a beetle kill pine desk for the kids. The beeswax finish really brings out the beautiful blue grain.

Dad also made art easels for the kids as well and they got to 'work'.

A fun gift from Grandma Lee and Papa, it is a giant ball that you can climb inside and ride in.

Winter Solstice Celebration with friends. This year I came prepared with books next year I am going to try to be a bit more confidence about sharing my songs too.

Teilee wrote a book at school, "Josie Sees Colors". (Hard back and everything). Unfortunately for mom, Teilee decided that she needed to give the book to Josie, rather than save it for her bookshelf. At least I got to be volunteer mom and be there to watch her and her book writing workshop (12 kids or so ages 5-10) take their books to a local preschool and read them to each kiddo there.

Love this picture of Landis.
As a family we went to the local kids gymnastic and dance performance of The Nutcracker with a Twist. Than Teilee and I had a mommy daughter date to watch the Canyon Concert Ballet professionals perform the Nutcracker. Here we are geared up to go!

Landis' preschool had their winter party. Our job of the day was to lead all the kids and their families in song until Santa arrived.

Ahhh yes, here we are placing our beloved FSM on the top of our tree. The kids took turns so they each received the honor of placement.
We traveled to a small local tree farm and got to pick our own tree. We have gone to this particular farm for 3 out of the 5 years we have lived here. We missed last years season (you can only cut for 2 weeks in Dec. and we really procrastinated) and the year before they were rebuilding after a tornado. 4 generations building, creating, and working on this farm. Last year we went with a nursery and got an untreated sustainable native tree which I felt great about, but there is just something about picking out your own tree on a small farm, sharing a tractor ride to the barn, and having a handmade wreath to take home.

Wow.....I could have written 30 pages on our traditions and activities in Dec. I left out so much out but now is the time for Brigid/Imbolc (Candelmas). A time for taking stock and cleaning out what is no longer needed.

Welcome 2011 and all that you hold!! Happy New Year to everyone!!

December is upon us!

2010-11-29T22:28:00.002-07:00

In planning for this years festivities it is always a good idea to look back at last year. I am trying not to add anything new but would like to maintain the rituals and traditions that we have done in the past. It is also a great time to reminisce about all the fun we had and think about ways to decrease stress for this year.

I am looking forward to it all!!!

The First Snow

2010-11-11T12:09:00.005-07:00

The first Snow of the fall!!

Today I have an enormous amount of gratitude and appreciation.
The fall was a transition time for us. I was absorbed in the duties of Landis' preschool co-op and Teilee's school, while helping my children through the change of no longer homeschooling. The kids have had to adjust to not having daddy around as well. We are still insanely busy, life is just like that, but we are getting the hang of experienced moments of joy through the chaos.

The fall held out for us until this week and today is our first day of snow. I am so grateful that we were given the opportunity to wait until we had time to prepare our house, yard, children, etc.... for winter. We were able to finish the yard/garden/chicken work on Monday, gather and sort and buy what was needed for the kids winter gear on Tuesday, Wednesday gave us time to prepare the house inside, and then today...........we have snow!!!!

The kids woke me up today excitedly whispering, "Mommy, wake up wake up there's snow!" They were gallivanting through the house looking out every window and giggling with excitement. Oh.....I could have just stayed in bed the whole day listening to their joy!

The first snow means sledding, snow sculptures, shoveling, hot cocoa, and our yearly tradition on the first snow of the season is to make snow ice cream. We substitute the sugar with agave nectar or honey.

Winter weather is here and we are relishing in this moment of joy.

Bartels Farm

2010-10-20T20:45:00.005-06:00

For the last five years we have depended on the Bartels farm for our seasonal fix and fall pumpkin needs. We have gone when it has been hot, cold, rainy, and snowy. Every year it gets a little bigger and better and we always enjoy the best that a true farm has to offer. The pumpkins are actually in the field, still attached to prickly vines and often hidden by the other crops like milo and corn!! One year they had planted swan necked gourds in with the pumpkins and we had an all out treasure hunt to find the coveted squash. There is always much to do like the petting zoo and pumpkin launching. This was a great opportunity for us to unwind as a family from our busy lives. I took so many many great pictures but just wanted to share a few.

This year the petting zoo included Nick and Teilee (from the Emu's perspective).

Landis picked a pumpkin with a face already on it. The fields are large and we have found that if you take a wagon ride first you can spot the best locations for the best pumpkins.

I like mine a little leafy.

The farm is outside of town and the views are phenomenal.

Our lives have well.....continued to be pretty crazy. With a parent in school and working full time it has definitely changed our lives. And with me running our home business, working part time, fulfilling all kids school commitments, managing the home, and doing it alone almost every day of the week it will just continue to be challenging. I miss having friends, getting to plan and do things, and alone time (it has been about 2 months since I have had that) but I am finding a lot of joy in getting to experience my children and their new journeys in school. I don't believe that things will stop being crazy-busy for me for quite some time, but I have to say that I am finding the pleasure in the midst of the craze. I am learning to spot those moments of gratitude in between illnesses and schedules. I believe that there are some very specific things that we have to overcome as a family before life gets easier however, when it does we will be prepared to accept the gift because we have been practicing.

Nick captured this photo of me and I love it. It does not present an image, it is simply me. Quiet, thinking, tired, smiling. Oh.....and in a field of pumpkins.

Peace

2010-06-20T09:24:00.004-06:00

Overwhelmed. I am always (always) working while mothering or mothering while working. I am managing the best I can but am feeling resentful that I can't do either/or. I would love to just homeschool and mother, or just work. Homeschooling, at home parent, part time secretary job, starting a business, creating two websites.....managing a home.....garden...... financial creativity........ managing.........creating.......working.....sigh. It would be lovely to vent, to try and write words that could touch on the immensity of my stress.
I deserve a vacation. A real vacation.

Instead.......I offer this.

I call it 'peace'. Though I can't jump on (fear of breaking the rope) I can exhilarate in her experience. When you are catching air, when you are swingin' the world vanishes and the experience is all that matters. Push...glide....splash.....land. Breathe.

No parents allowed

2010-05-12T12:05:00.003-06:00

Teilee declared that her (and Landis') room was off limits to Mommy and Daddy. Humm......is her rebellion to our household chaos resulting in organizational tendencies? Notice the completely made beds, no toys on the floor, the PJs laid out on the bed. She is putting away all of their laundry, vacuuming herself, dusting, picking up, and putting away all on her own!! I couldn't be prouder that she took this on herself. She has said that she will allow us to come in to patch the wall and paint when the time comes. Her design will be centered around the seasons and she has left instructions as to which wall is Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. On one wall she would like to see a mural with the sky, a tree, and the underground roots, with worms in the dirt. You keep cleaning and maintaining your room Teilee, I will paint you a work of art!!

Snow White and Rose Red

2010-05-12T12:01:00.003-06:00

Today

Yup Snow

Oh what a May

2010-05-11T22:11:00.013-06:00

Once again it is snowing outside. My garden is suffering and I am thinking about switching entirely to a greenhouse next year. Although, each year I lament that we shall have to wait until next fall for snow and then mother nature surprises us with her final attempts at a winter storm. It is a surprise gift of beauty experiencing the white, stark, greyness of winter and the brilliant, blooming colors of spring at the same time. Picture taking is optimum and I am hoping to capture some beauties tomorrow. Here are some beauties from the first week of May.

Kite day at the park, hundreds of kites in the air and Teilee flying the airplane (you can barely see it in the center but it is there). Go Teilee go!

Landis flying his homemade kite. During the peak wind of the morning hundreds of kites were flown in the same area. And yes there were tangles, and downed kites resulting, but everyone shared a good laugh and each lent a hand to send the kite aloft.

Beltane is a beautiful festival we missed most of it but arrived during the maypole portion. With Landis asleep in the car, Nick brought Teilee down for the kids weaving of the ribbons. Then upon switching, I was able to participate in my first adult may pole weaving. What a beautiful and intimate tradition especially as the ribbons become shorter and shorter leaving you little space to weave in and out. After the weaving of the ribbon, Teilee and I joined in the ritual of jumping over the fire. A symbolic new beginning emerging from the flames (just make sure your pants are hiked up and you jump high enough). Teilee soared. (Teilee is in the green pants with the gray jacket.) The adult May Pole

What better creature to spy near our festival grounds than a curious fox.

Already we have been hiking and enjoying our sunny days. Nick and the kids went out for a hike and we repeated the venture on Mother's Day. Poor Landis was ill and insisted he needed to be carried (not in the hiking backpack) by Mommy the whole way down. Wishing I had brought my sling we found Plan B using my jacket as a makeshift sling and we successfully made it down the mountain.
Landis slept for most of the day and in the evening his fever broke and he was much better.

The chicks are getting so big! We moved them out into the coop with the big girls. We will separate them until the chicks are big enough to fend off any hen pecking.

The kids bring the chicks and the chickens into the yard as often as possible. They keep to their separate spaces, but we are hoping that eventually they will commingle.

Toothless.....I mean Teilee has popped out her front tooth. Proudly she shows her space and her tooth and she is now the proud president of her Loose Tooth Club. Anyone between the ages of 4 and 30 may join. Although I am hoping to successfully stay out of this club. ;) Of course we had to run to the library for resources. There we found a book about what children around the world do with their lost teeth. There is much throwing of teeth onto roofs or feeding of teeth to female dogs. La Raton is a main character in the business, changing only in language. Apparently small rodents are overwhelmingly popular in the process of losing a tooth. Move over tooth fairy!!

We enjoy every contact we have with our lovely neighbor Sally. She was witness to the losing of the tooth as we were witnessing her brand new yellow kitchen. (Talk about an inspiration!) Smile for the camera Landis, close enough!

On a quick note (okay, nothing is every quick with me), we are pursuing some exciting business opportunities. Nick and I were gifted some guidance, by some wonderful friends, and some free tickets to a convention in Denver last week. Sans kids we wearily went and returned ever rejuvenated in our confidence to achieve a goal. Updates coming soon!

Spring has Sprung

2010-04-16T16:11:00.014-06:00

It is Spring!! Okay I know it has been spring for a while but we are truly feeling the affects of the season now. Bike rides, gardening, hikes, backyard play, animal watching, and so much more fun to be had. The kids and daddy ventured out onto this platform over the lake offering them a birds eye view of the ducks, frog eggs, and red winged blackbirds.
Our chickens tend to attract mice with all of their left over scraps and we caught one and allowed the kiddos to examine it thoroughly. Of course from behind the safety of glass. Mice, bike rides, dinner in the backyard, and new chicks (pictures to come) all more fabulous signs of spring.

In home school we are still on the topic of spring and this week one of our stories was How Robin Saved Spring by Debbie Ouellet
In the story Sister Spring is finally awoken by Robin and she begins to spread spring all over. Our own 'Sister Spring' has been leaving signs all over the backyard that spring is here. Some, like our blooming crocus spiral, are natural and are only pointed out by 'Sister Spring' and some are simple representations of the green that will soon be on the trees.

'Sister Spring' has been almost living in her seasonal dress (despite it being Landis' size). She has also taken to sitting often in one tree in the back yard, even fashioning a pulley of sorts to bring aloft her books.

Daddy thought it was time to provide an easier sitting location and of course brother spring needed his own perch too.

Every year I become overjoyed to be back in the garden and every year we have a slow start for some reason or another. This year some illness slowed us down but we also have been busy making the garden a more permanent space complete with enclosed beds. We had a little money to spend on wood for a few beds. Our local building supply thrift store always helps to stretch our dollars. Then when we ran out of wood we looked around the yard to piece to together the remaining beds and structures. I always have big plans and a small wallet. I think it brings out the creative side of me and I can not wait to show you the completed garden with fence and plants when we are done. I am proud of my vine structure and can not wait to see my zucchini growing vertically. In the picture the smaller fence leaning up against our yard fence will be transplanted around the garden and of course we are going to have to build more. All the building has meant that we will most likely buy starts instead of planting seeds but next year our soil will be in, our beds made and ready to go for earlier planting. I do have one cold frame (just a window placed over the box) that is helping my kale and spinach grow.

We were able to borrow our neighbors truck and our other neighbors wheelbarrow to gather some new dirt to help fill out our beds. What is amazing is how much the kids love to do the work. I have such fond memories of gardening as a child and I hope my children will have the same. Following the rototiller to gather worms, picking fresh strawberries, canning green beans, shoveling, digging, planting, watering, sweeping, gathering, and then finally playing in the mud.

Of course Teilee, ever the spring fairy is muddin' it up in style. What could be better!! I can not wait to see the fruits.....nay, the vegetables of our labors.

Eggerific!

2010-04-04T21:19:00.008-06:00

For egg dying this year we used beets, blueberries, tumeric, and spinach for the dyes. I never have good luck with spinach. The green eggs are from the blueberries, white is from the spinach (it has a tint of green), orange is from the turmeric, and the pink eggs are from the beets. We left the shredded pieces of beets in the jar and they speckled our eggs nicely. We tried a few color combination with less success than last year, but still a lot of fun!!
Our recipe: Take the food and smash, peel, scrape, mush into the jar. Add 2 Tbl of vinegar and boiling water until the jar is full. Let the jar cool. (You can strain the ingredient out or not) Now add the boiled egg and let sit for several hours (overnight if you can).

Last year we had blue, green, pink, yellow, orange, and purple. Unfortunately I don't remember and I didn't write down what I used. I will figure it out, hopefully in time for next year!

The equinox/Easter bunny or Ostara/Eostre paid us a visit today! The children and adults were gifted a bounty of food, toys, and games. Our celebration is such a mishmash of different traditions, and I love it! I have always been in love with spirituality and a deep connection to every ritual. Every year I expand on our traditions and now it has become necessary to keep a journal just for our family rituals and celebrations.

This year some rascally critters nearly spoiled the fun. We thought that the Easter bunny/Ostara hid the eggs around 1:00 am and between then and 6:30 am they were all gone. No eggshells, no pieces, but a few really well hidden eggs were still there. I wondered if raccoons were to blame. I told that rabbit to wait until the morning!! ;) We took the kids out, all primed and ready for the hunt and headed back in with mom and dad flustered. We decided with the kiddos that the bunny/Ostara must have been aware of some bad weather coming and wanted to wait until after nap time. It snowed a few hours later proving our theory true. The 5 min. of snow quickly turned into bright sunshine and heat. This must have given the bunny time to fix up a solution, or rather soak a solution out. After an early afternoon bike ride to our local coffee shop we came home to a hunt!!

The real fun occurs after the first hunt in all the subsequent egg hide and seek. Teilee is a pretty sharp egg hider and Landis is an observant egg finder. Hopefully next year Ostara will ensure a less dramatic egg hunt. May I suggest inside?! :)

The thinkings of a mind trapped inside

2010-03-26T17:29:00.006-06:00

I decided today to add up the number of days I felt well in the last month. Unfortunately the number is small enough to add up on one hand. Seriously four days is not enough to feel well in an entire month. Another rough winter for me. Time sucking FB has taught me another lesson though. I post on FB when I am ill, not ever time, but many times. Recently someone messaged me their concerns. Very sweetly they wondered if I had a mold issue in the house, or what else might be going on. My norm is often a little shocking to others. My neighbor and friend once saw me hobble out to the mail box (usually I am better composed before entering into public) and she was on me about what was wrong. I reminded her that this is normal for me and she wondered again what I could do about it. I guess it is a hard concept that sometimes you just have to accept and try to work around issues. Trust me though, I have tried. I fought it with everything I had until the fight had me in a nasty physical state. Everyone has something. My largest problem tends to be my health. New goal: Stop posting when you are ill on FB and remember that it is not just your close friends and family who read your updates. Also, that people do get tired of hearing how much you are sick.

Today I thought I was better. I did more than I have done in the last week in a few hours and then hit the wall. Dang. Of course when the illness is done with my body I will still be left dealing with the symptoms of my ((gulp)) Fibromyalgia and Hypothyroidism (sub-clinical). Labels, labels, labels. I hate using them. I don't ever use those two words. Holistically, and through alternative medicine, I can explain more of what is going on in my body than those words could. They don't explain everything anyways (like my malfunctioning sinus cavities). Day by day I am able to speak what I am feeling. Whether it be the fatigue, a sluggish mobility or pain, I would rather deal with each issue than umbrella these under one diagnosis.

Today I am still ill, and the weather is changing causing quite a bit of fatigue and pain. (Even my fingers hurt.) I have been unable to think away the pain and fatigue and now what do I do? What do I do when I can't mentally overcome what my body feels (aka: ignore it).

Here is what I do: 1)I imagine what it would feel like in my body to have none of these issues. If I rarely got ill, if I never had pain or fatigue. Nick is always joking that I would probably rule the world if I didn't have any health issues! Imagine not having to work past it, imagine going a month (heck a few days would be great) without a sinus infection or an illness. 2) Rather than feeling sad for what I can't have, I now choose to focus on what I have achieved. Look what I get done WITH all my problems. It is really remarkable (yes I am boasting.:)) Look what I have done with my limitations! Blew them out of the water! (Don't gag, just a little positive self-talk.) 3) Remind myself that tomorrow may be better and that I am healthier now than I ever have been. 4) Embrace the pain, acknowledge it, it means you are alive! Tune into it and really feel it. Pain is another part of life that I GET to experience. 5) Remember all those who experience worse and all those who don't get to experience it at all. 6) Bring back the gratitude. I am truly blessed, lucky, and fortunate in life.

This is what I get to work through almost every day and every day is different. Sometimes my relationships suffer (intimate and casual alike) because I can't always be there even though I want to be. And because it is really hard to understand something that you can't see, can't feel, and don't hear about. I am lucky because this has made me so grateful for the things I have. Being able to have children, to be married, to garden, run, bike, etc.. I have to acknowledge that much of the burden of my ailments falls to my husband. I do have days where I just physically can't overcome and he picks up the slack. He does my chores, takes care of the kids, works, does his chores, and carries this family through my bad days. And that is my number 7), the last thing that I think about to keep me from given in: My support!

Awwwwwww

2010-03-21T23:26:00.001-06:00

Sample Curriculum

2010-03-16T22:42:00.005-06:00

Simple Sample. I created this fill in the blank format to help me organize our weekly curriculum. Lately our rhythms (daily, weekly, dinner, schooling, etc...) have been plummeted into a bit of disorder. Lots of sickness, trips, and Nick's new job have added an element of change. While we are working through the change, the kids love that they have still been able to have a beautiful, rich, soulful, and relaxed homeschool experience.

Here's how I plan our weeks. Usually I try to plan a month to several months at a time. This allows me to fit in every theme that is important to me. I sit with all of my resource books, my master homeschool calendar (which has every birthday, holiday, and special days), my idea planner (with ideas for each season), and the computer.
First I discover if anything special is happening in the week. For example, last week we had St. Patty's Day, the Spring Equinox, and a planned trip to Kansas. This is a powerful time of year, an awakening of sorts. I may need to put together a festival to acknowledge the change.
Next, I see which letter we are working on. Teilee asked me recently to start at the beginning of the alphabet again.
Then I find an appropriate story. Hopefully the story will incorporate the season, the letter, and any other theme happening that week. Stories often come from www.mainlesson.com. I also find other picture books that fit the week.
Next come the songs. Having done this for over a year I have some songs, books, stories, and themes already determined. The kids love when they hear a familiar tune, it is something that they can really sink their singing teeth into.
Lastly come any enrichment activities. From crafting to painting to gardening these activities are designed to help encourage a real connection to the lesson.
I strive to link everything together. My goal is for my children to have a deep meaningful connection to their world and its workings. Everything that we do with homeschooling has a purpose and is intentional.
This is a brief overview and it has taken me two years and much support, research, and practice to be able to pull this off. This is for two weeks. Usually it is in a fun, colorful, cheery chart, but it won't format to my blog. (I am seriously bummed that it won't show!!!) Oh well....that's what our imaginations are for!!

SAMPLE: Month March
Week 1
Theme: Letter A & B, Signs of Spring, What’s Brewing Underground
Stories: Bean & Plants, Kate and the Beanstalk, A place to Grow, The Surprise Garden, The Root Children
Songs: Seeds are Stirring,
Supplies/ To Do: Dinosaur Room ABC Banner, Plant Bean Seeds, Apple Necklaces

Mon.
Letter Walk-A, Slice Apples draw the inside and transform to A
Tues. Apple Necklaces
Wed. Letter Walk B, draw bean seed, soak overnight
Thurs. Draw Bean seed, dissect bean, Plant remaining bean seeds
Friday Nature Walk Day
Sat. Sun.

Week 2
Theme: Spring is Coming, St. Patty’s Day
Stories: Persephone and Demeter
Songs: Spring Songs
Supplies/Activities: Wheat Grass, egg, painting spring scenes

Mon. Wheat Grass, Letter C
Tues. Giant Park, Sally Afternoon
Wed. St. Patty’s Day, Morning networking meeting (playgroup), Letter D walk
Thurs. Spring scenes
Friday Trip to KS
Sat. Equinox
Sun.

See....wasn't that as beautiful as you imagined it?:)

Kansas Trip

2010-03-14T22:39:00.002-06:00

We had a wild trip! We are back from our two week trip to Kansas. While Daddy started a new job and worked on his big car audio job we had to split town. I had no idea when Nick would be sleeping let alone making time for us and I figured it would be easier for the kids and I to take a long road trip instead. Grandma Lee and Papa have a wonderful home that they were willing to share, awesome meals (all GF) to eat, and a beautiful land to explore. Grandpa Don and Mary live nearby to visit, and we got to see Great Aunt DeeDee. Of course the highlight for Teilee and Landis is always getting to see their cousins! (Thanks to Aunt Kati and Uncle Joe for making them available to us!;)) I love being in Kansas, my mind is less muddled there. I could attribute that to avoiding all other responsibilities except for childcare (no taxes, no finances, no grocery shopping, no organizing, etc...). However, I decided to chalk it up to the clean air, helping hands, beautiful country, down to earth people, and great family!

2010-02-23T20:27:00.002-07:00

I was reminiscing and found a couple of posts that I just had to post a second time.
I have not been feeling as creative these days, but it is still in there! Enjoy a few oldies!

Dec. 21st, 2007

I used to always be a chronic night owl, now I am a fall asleep standing up kinda gal. Today I found myself wiping furiously at the apparent mascara rings under my eyes. Being frustratingly unsuccessful I realized that I had not worn mascara and those were indeed the dark non-sleeping circles that I have earned as a mother. These bruise colored crescents, that no amount of makeup can 'freshen up', scream "Tired Mom Here!". Although, they are not out of place on this tousled uncut hair, unbrushed teeth, unwashed clothes of a person that I am. They only add to the ensemble that declares my latest station in life. Once discovered though I only admire them with a perverse since of accomplishment. Like my stretchmarks, and my stretching breasts, I have earned these. My progress as a woman can be traced across my body like counting the rings of a tree. My still protruding belly indicating the rude way in which my son was taken from my being. My uneven breasts a symbol of my dedication to the nutrition of my offspring. These are my battle scars, my road map, my mark of motherhood of which I am proud to declare. In all its beauty this is me now.

Katelin reminded me of this one- I had completely forgotten, which is one reason why I have a blog......to remember!

October 12, 2007

Rubber Ducky

Little rubber ducky on the bathtub floor,

have you made permanent residence on the drain?

Nestled near the metal hair trap

it works hard to grasp every stray strand that could pass,

A veritable fortress collecting stray objects, resting near your yellow squeak,

How is it that you are now a daily friend of my shower?

How odd to consider that you are not a stranger to my day,

you are the comfort that smiles at me from the sudsy water remains of my wash,

The instant reminder of my station in life,

with fondness I gently set you upright to float on the small puddle of water,

I guess the drain can not prevent you from having your lake,

As I could never remove you, my fond friend, from the company of my feet.

Little yellow rubber ducky on the bathtub drain.

The Age of Innocence

2010-02-15T23:25:00.003-07:00

Just had to share this little tidbit that happened recently. We don't watch a lot of TV although lately with all the illness we have had we have let our standards slip. We don't watch the news, we try to never allow the kids to see commercials, and we monitor what they do watch closely. One of the reasons I absolutely HATE commercials is because of the blatant sexism and racism exhibited. Rarely do commercials show interracial families, rarely are toys presented as gender neutral despite their themes or colors.

Teilee has recently started listening to The Magic Tree House series on CD's that we checked out from the library. I love this! It is a media that has her entranced without all the nasty effects of TV. The basic premise is that this brother and sister have a magic tree house that transports them back in time. They go on missions to learn, find clues, and recover ancient objects. Seems pretty innocent and safe, so I left the room while she was listening. Teilee came crying to me in the other room that she didn't want to listen to the story anymore. One of the chapters in one of the books dealt with, by Teilee's description, Roman times. Upon probing she explained that back in Roman times girls couldn't do everything that boys could. She was horrified that the little girl in the story had to dress up as a male soldier so she could go with her brother and do everything he did. Teilee was in tears! She had yet to experience that kind of blatant sexism.

I know that we often become complacent in the sexism that we see, hear, and experience. How far we have come, and yet how far we have yet to go.

Also heard from the mouth of my 6 year old. "If I were a bear (brown bear), I would have been mated by now." Try holding it together when you hear that!!!

Creative Blue and Christmas

2010-01-11T22:45:00.022-07:00

I am thinking Creative Blue as my new blog title. I am gonna chew on it a bit before transitioning.

Now on to Christmas!
For several years now we have had a Flying Spaghetti Monster as our tree topper. A simple Mop head (colored with coffee) and some painted styrofoam balls form the figure. We love this, it is original, it is symbolic, and it is a lot of fun.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through then house,
not a creature was stiring, not even our lazy, non-mouse easting cat.......

The stocking were hung by the chimney with care...........

My wonderful friend Kara made these for us. When we had Landis she had to pull a rabbit out of her hat and make another! Every year I get so sentimental when we hang these, remembering all of our traditions we had with her and her family. The extra stocking happens to be for the cats.
This year we were talking to Teilee and Landis in November about what they would want Santa to bring them this year. Teilee asked if the Solstice Fairies could come instead of Santa. This was not an option that I had presented and I had to instantly cover my reaction. Was this okay? I love the tradition of Santa, the spirit of the holidays. Does it matter if the spirit is represented by the Solstice fairies instead. I think Teilee thought the Halloween fairy had brought her such a fabulous gift (a dinosaur) that the Solstice fairies would do the same. And Santa? Apparently you never know what he will bring! Okay I said, so be it! We told the moon (that's how you tell the fairies) and we sent a letter to Santa to communicate with the fairies so they would know that they were in charge of the gift giving this year.
Of course Solstice Fairies enjoy cookies, but really really small cookies and a bowl of milk with acorn caps as scoops.
The fairies left Teilee and Landis a note.

Our tree complete with gifts, and the FSM on top.
This was the year of abundance. We were so amazingly fortunate to be able to buy some of the gifts. We still made gifts, but we were able to make what we wanted and not rely on what we could make with what we had. The stress relief was amazing, the joy was pure. This is our abundance. Not to much, not extravagant, just right.

Daddy slept well..... (of course)

The kids waited until mid morning to open gifts. Here they are donning hats made by Ani (which she gave to us back in October) and the scarves that I knitted to coordinate. My gift to them. Yup, I knitted!!! When I lamented to Teilee a few days before x-mas that, "if only you had a scarf to match that hat", she replied, "but I don't like things that match, I like mismatched things." I almost let out a burst of laughter, knowing my daughter, that is exactly what I had made her. I call it a patchwork, scrappy scarf, she just calls it perfect!

The kids wanted to make Daddy Superman underwear and a superman shirt. I was not going to spend a ton load of money searching for that, so I bought some iron on printable paper. Found some images, fixed them, drew them, printed them off, and then ironed them onto some underwear. Then I thought, "Why not let the kids draw something personal?" Landis drew figures of him and Daddy and since they were so small I made a lot of them and ironed them all over one gray pair. Then Teilee drew a brachiasaurus and that went onto a matching shirt. Daddy first open the superman get up and the extra shirts and underwear, then he got to the kids gifts. I have NEVER seen Nick cry over a gift. The kids were so happy to see how excited Daddy was.
Then the kids got to Daddy's gift for them.
A new dryer with a ironing board on the side (of course they didn't know what an ironing board was). It will turn, it was turning (it broke Christmas eve as we were bringing it inside). Daddy can and will fix it.

One gift the kids got this year was a ride on horse. Teilee has enjoyed dressing it in all my old homecoming dresses, and all of their dress up. Landis is too short to ride on it, but he is absolutely in love with their new pony.

That Night Teilee fell asleep reading the book GrandmaLee and Papa gave her. The coolest ever dinosaur pop-up book!

This year of all years we were counting our blessings. In years past we have had holidays of extreme abundance of things and haven't understood the need for or been able to find an abundance of spirit. The last few years we have been working on our gratitude, and spiritual journey, primarily because we had so little of the green stuff. This year we had a balance and it was beautiful. We are not quite able to do everything (I still missed giving gifts to our extended families and friends), but this huge weight was lifted from our shoulders this winter and we were able to have the holiday season that was fulfilling, peaceful, easy, and lovely!

December Adventures

2009-12-22T22:38:00.043-07:00

A visit from Nutty the squirrel. Nutty joins us almost every breakfast and has become quite tame.

The kids graduated their Kindergarten Co-op in December. We shared a final story and thanked our friends for the amazing experience that we were blessed to be a part of. Many tears were shed (by mom) to leave what we have worked hard to build for well over a year. We knew Teilee was ready for the next stage, and it was time to find a way to provide that for her. To celebrate the occasion (and bring a smile to moms face) we had a night out on the town, beginning with a surprise carriage ride.
Teilee got to help guide the lovely Juliet who neighed throughout downtown to Teilee's delight.

Of course we then had to eat out at our favorite dinning spot, La Luz. Lots of gluten free options, kid friendly menu, not bad prices, and well.... it is just plain delicious.
We finished off the night with some ice cream and then some ice skating. Teilee is a blast to watch, such zeal and fearlessness on the ice. Landis is cautions but well balanced and it will be no time at all before he refuses to hold our hands.

Impromptu math lesson given by Teilee. You never know when a teaching moment will strike.

Our winter table.
Honoring the Advent: Each week we lit a new candle and added a new element (ex: The first week shells and bones, the second week evergreen boughs, the third week animal figures, etc...). On Christmas we lit the final center candle.

We added a new verse each Sunday to be spoken while lighting a candle.

The first light of Advent is the light of stones.
Stones that live in crystals, seashells, and bones.

The second light of Advent is the light of plants.
Roots, stem, leaf, flower and fruit by whom we live and grow.

The third light of Advent is the light of beasts.
Animals of the farm, field, forest, air, and sea.
All await the birth in greatest and in least.

The fourth light of Advent is the light of humankind.
The light of love, the light of thought, to give and to understand.

Throughout the rest of the week we shared this verse.

Spirit of the East, spirit of air, of morning and springtime: Be with us as the sun rises, in times of beginning, times of planting. Inspire us with the fresh breath of courage as we go forth into new adventures.

Spirit of the South, spirit of fire, of noontime and summer: Be with us through the heat of the day and help us to be ever growing. Warm us with strength and energy for the work that awaits us.
Spirit of the West, spirit of water, of evening and autumn: Be with us as the sun sets and help us to enjoy a rich harvest.

Spirit of the North, spirit of earth, of nighttime and winter: Be with us in the darkness, in the time of gestation. Ground us in the wisdom of the changing seasons as we celebrate the spiraling journey of our lives.
Our kindergarten co-op put together an advent spiral. Each family contributed something for the occasion and helped to make it a beautiful experience. Each child and parent took a reflective walk through the spiral. I did not get a great picture of the event but is was spectacular. It was dark and quiet, we all sang while each person took a turn and walked a huge spiral of evergreen boughs to the center and back out. Each person carried an apple candle into the center and lit it, then randomly selected an angel card to have, and finally made the journey back through the spiral placing the lit apple candle around the edge to light the next person's way. It is amazing how accurate each angel card was for each person and truly remarkable how reflective and soulful the whole experience was.
Lighting a Candle
Deep in the ground of the human soul,
Of victory assured,
The Spirit-Sun is living,
All through the winter of the inner life
The faithful heart divines it.
-Rudolf Steiner

Making cinnamon ornaments.
Enjoying the frozen stream in our Cottonwood Creek.

St. Nicholas Day.

The kids were both awake early and were very very quiet. I caught the kids hand in hand walking into the living room, softly and sneakily peering around the corner at their shoes near the door. Wondering if leaving them out the night before had paid off.
It did!

Making snowflakes. We learned a new messy trick this year. If you glue on salt, the snowflakes glitter in the sun. We hung these above our nature table and will enjoy them throughout the winter.
No ice skates necessary on our frozen river.

We don't always have the most current equipment. We wait patiently for the day when we can own a nice sled, snowshoes, skies, ice skates, snowboards, snow boots for mom and dad, another pair of snowpants for mom and dad (we do get tired of picking who gets to be dry each trip out), etc.... However, we are so incredibly grateful for everything we have and everything we have access too. We are warm with coats and hats and gloves, we are gifted with the ability to buy a few experiences this year, we are blessed with a beautiful place to live where we have fun out our back door. We were able to do so much more this year and we have enjoyed every single moment!

On the Solstice we sang songs, played outside, and honored our feathered friends. We made our traditional bird seed ornaments to hang on our tree outside. This will be an activity that we will continue in January.

Of course a few trees needed to be climbed as well.

We took the kids to a dance performance downtown. We got to watch our favorite 15 year old in her first ballet performance and were spell bound by the experience. I am hoping to expose the kids to more and more and more arts in 2010. See, another blessing!!
Teilee became very ill a few weeks before Christmas and well into January. She ruptured two ear drums and we have worked hard to heal her. To help her immune system we limited her intake of sugar (no candy canes) and limited the amount and vigor of physical activity that she took part in. After Christmas we took some time to sled with friends. Our park has great kid appropriate hills, and she was feeling well enough to go out. So.........
Go Teilee Go!!
Teilee and her friend Morgan took off on their own over and over and over again. What a fearless twosome.
That's all, and that's enough. I still have Christmas to post!!
Hope your December was as wonderful as ours.

Learning the Letter P

2009-12-19T00:59:00.001-07:00

Need name ideas

2009-12-15T23:48:00.003-07:00

Calling all Imaginations!!! I need your creative juices. I am not only in need of a new blog name but also a business name. I would like the two of them to be intertwined somehow. They don't have to be the same name but I am looking at finding a way to at least link them.

Here is the business: Natural solid wood kids toys such as: Waldorf Kitchens, shoe racks (to dry boots on), fridges, small figures, dryers, etc......
We are wanting anyone interested in natural kids toys, waldorf education, hand crafted products, local products, family business (everyone is involved) etc......to be able to find us and be interested in what we are offering! Nick is incredibly skilled and these items are also marketable as heirloom and art pieces.

My new blog I intend to focus on our homeschooling Waldorf experience and the things we do at home with the children.

Here are a few name ideas we have come up with so far:

Imagination Playground
Crabby Lion Toys (From our Horoscopes: Landis is a Leo, and the rest of us are Cancers)
Rainbow Bridge Woodworking
Willow Woodworking
BW Woodworking

Clearly we are struggling. I just can't find anything suitable. My primary goal is to find a business name first. I am sure something can be created for the blog from that.
I would love to hear any ideas you might have!

Changing My Blog

2009-11-02T00:03:00.010-07:00

I am going to be starting a new blog. One that doesn't make me feel so frantic! Art imitates life and life imitates art. I am tired of being crazy and busy. I am looking for ideas for a blog title that exudes peace, Waldorf homeschooling, art, mothering, family, creativity, music, etc.....along those lines. The best of our world and not the crazy business. Something marketable as I may have found a way for us to combine our home businesses, their potential websites, and my blog into a money making venture. Hummm...........Blossoming Garden, Nature Nest, The Learning Tree,........ideas?

Just a warning: What follows is a prime example of why my title must change from Crazy Busy to Calm Peaceful. If you make it through this blog you will earn my respects, but please don't venture forth into the depths of my list if you are hoping to not disrupt your own calm, peaceful state of being;)

This week I have been losing it! So completely overwhelmed with all I have.
1) Homeschooling- Our break was this week from KinderMoon and I didn't accomplish at all what I needed to in order to reenter our rotation this week. Our home rhythm collapsed with our busy schedules and our children are desperately needing their mother to find her calm and peace. I must get back to fulfilling their schooling needs first and everything else second! After talking with other homeschooling moms I know that this is a normal part of the process and I just have to get back on track.

2) Home- We began moving our office and the kids room around and it is still trashed more than a month later!! There is more work in there than I know what to do with and I still can't find my calendar so I am constantly missing events, birthdays, and other commitments. Teilee has been in gymnastics for 5 weeks and has made 2 of those days. One day she missed due to illness but the other 2 were because I just FORGOT!!

3) Secretarial Job- Still working on September's workload and will probably get October's within the next week. Here is the way I earn money (and need to do this) and I can't manage to get that commitment handled. It is always less than 5 hours a month.

4) Childcare Job- I have an entire system designed to maintain accurate records of when I work and how much I am owed. Have missed a few days and have had to ask the mother of the child I watch for that info. She is a dear friend of mine and I love her child but this is also a business! This is another way I earn money and I am having a hard time record keeping. I am hoping to have a more routine schedule but as of right now it is usually just here and there watching. It has been challenging to fit my kids schedule and homeschooling needs around.

5) Choir- Am thinking of giving this up.....too much on my plate!!! Weekly practices are becoming too much, the childcare situation is stressful, and added performances are added stress. Had a recent performance a few days before the garage sale (mentioned in the next one). This one was at a benefit dinner for my good friend (who the garage sale was also for). This performance was relaxed but of course there are always extra practices and I always get nervous!!

6) Recent Benefit Garage Sale- Recently threw this huge (HUGE) sale a week ago on Sunday (raised lots of money) and am still cleaning up. I am really hoping this is a huge reason why I feel so overwhelmed. Whether it is because the friend I was helping out has moved and I am sad or just that I was sooooooo busy planning, picking up donations, arranging, pricing, sorting, etc.......I am hoping that now that this is over my life will calm down a little. Not to mention that on Sat., the day before the sale, I became ill again and so did Landis. Took Landis to the ER at 2:30 am on Sunday because he was struggling to breath. Took Teilee to a friends house so I could join Daddy and Landis at the hospital. Sent Nick home at 5:00 to start setting up the garage sale only it was snowing so he couldn't start until 6:30. Garage sale started at 8:00. We didn't have any volunteers arrive until around noon that day. We managed but man was the deck stacked against us. Landis gets croup often and we usually can manage with our home remedies but this time it just got out of control. He was really tired the next day but otherwise was feeling great. Mom and Dad were tired too;)

7) Halloween- Had one major costume to make, finished it at 6:00 went Trick or Treating at 7:00 pm on Halloween! Also had Landis' costume to make adjustments to so that it would fit him, but we were lucky enough to borrow it.

8) Extracurricular Activities (needed to keep me sane)- Have had a few get togethers with friends but have also missed quite a few because I was busy!! Keep trying to schedule in one because I desperately need the mother to mother, friend to friend chatting to provide me some emotional peace.

9) Illness- have been sick for something like 6 out of 8 weeks. Had some illness at the end of summer and then it all went downhill after I hosted our kindergarten co-op, KinderMoon, on day one of my two day week. I am still dealing with laryngitis and a sinus infection. I have to work on my diet and exercise and am hoping that will help!

10) Days of the week- We have found ourselves out of the house (morning, afternoons, and many evenings) with commitments Mon, Wed, Thurs, Friday, and often Sat. and Sun. That leaves Tuesdays to cram in all errands, play dates, and any at home time that we need.

11) Life- Garden prep, yard work, fixing house, cars breaking down, money running out, job interviews for Nick, Holiday preparing, gift making, organizing, pumpkin carving, trip taking to the zoo and pumpkin patch, trying to have friends over, singing, discipline issues, cats, dishes, cleaning, starting new woodworking business, volunteering for Raintree Community School, mortgage, taxes, friends b-days, pot lucks, baking, sewing, knitting...........

I think I am tired from reading this and typing this and those are the main points I could think of at 1:00 in the morning. I kinda wanna live in denial about everything that has been on my plate. I am sure it is normal to get overloaded, it is a good reminder to unload and reduce! My life is full of love and laughter and fun and I don't want to give any of that up!!

I am needing a fresh start, a new calm, focused persona and a new blog. I am wanting to breath in the moments and not pant! This has to be my last ever Crazy Busy entry. I will use this blog until I have time to set up a new one but am ready for a change into something that resembles what I strive to have in my life!

Friendly Faeries

2009-09-20T22:22:00.010-06:00

It is amazing how often the kids dive into the dress up clothes when someone is over. Princess, faerie, pirate, cook, and angel are all universal kid games. Some friends prefer to play puppy more than pirate and to each their own. Teilee tends to try only to play dinosaur and it has been great expanding her enjoyment of some different repertoire.
Teilee had her friend Shamaiah over to play. Shamaiah loves to play princess or faerie. The last time she was over we ran out of time to venture to our Cottonwood Creek. A short jaunt down our greenbelt and you will arrive to a small weedy, grassy area with a huge cottonwood tree and a small creek running through.
This time I swore to the girls (who are good at getting promises out of me) that we would go. They donned their most appropriate attire and insisted on a few baskets to gather trinkets with, and we were off. Leave Landis in his nap and Daddy at home this was a girls adventure!

We found some lovely fishing sticks and began catching blue gill, trout, catfish, sunfish, big mouth bass, crappie. Then the ever elusive dogfish (that barked), catfish (that meowed, and cowfish (that mooed). Of course we practiced catch and release on a few. Some went into our fish basket for later dining.

We had a wonderful time, this is our little oasis. Quiet, somewhat secluded, and hidden. This was a great photo opportunity as well. The dark haired princess and the golden tresses of the faerie.

Trudging through the trees. This is one cottonwood tree with branches descending both sides of the path.

We love having our friends to play, it is always an adventure!!

Shamaia is catching the Andi fish with her stick.

For the next visit she has made me promise we will bake cookies! Who am I to say no?

Water Play

2009-09-20T21:30:00.006-06:00

I have some great pictures of some great experiences from this summer.

We have always ventured to this spot along the Spring Creek Trail. It is an educational art piece about the water cycle and we found it to be a quiet, secluded, refuge within our town. Little did we know that it held a fabulous surprise. One warm afternoon we were enjoying a picnic upon the stone structure when a few young boys came riding up. We were surprised that children of their age (around 10) would come here to play. As we were talking with them one child went and pushed what seemed to be a part of the artwork and low and behold water began spraying from the now evident fountain. The whole display suddenly made sense and we were quite embarrassed that we had not figured it out. We came back a bit more often to play in our own private water park.

The life cycle is described on the walls of this half moon shaped feature. At the end of the description is this fabulous structure. The water spills down and creates a pool where no doubt creatures gather to drink.

The button is difficult to push which is great for conserving water in a fountain such as this, but also makes it quite easy to surprise spray an unsuspecting relaxed daddy. :)

Teilee has absolutely no fear of the water and loves the spray. Landis would prefer to float dandelion seeds and sticks down the tile, rather than experience a single drop of water. If you look you will see the results of his dandelion water parade.

What a beautiful place, and no doubt it will be one of our all time favorite places to visit in the heat of summer.

Judgment is quick, understanding is hard work

2009-08-30T22:39:00.002-06:00

We don't like hearing about another's plight, we only want to hear how they overcame it. There is an extraordinary value in just listening to the suffering, that is underrated in our self serving society. We hear misery, sadness, frustration, difficulty and we expect the solution to follow. Ask the next homeless person you meet how they are, and I dare you to not tell your self how it could never be you (he/she made bad choices, should do this, shouldn't do this, is mentally challenged, etc....). Then ask your friend how they are....

Teilee's Blog

2009-08-30T08:35:00.001-06:00

http://creativelittle.blogspot.com/?zx=583b20a4880c8ad

I thought it might be easiest to share this here. Teilee has started her own blog which she designed and named Creative Little. She wanted to have a voice in all that we do, and to share what is most important to her. It has been an exciting journey for me to hear what she has to say and I love that now you can too! She is working on her next post and likes to check in regularly to see who has commented and what they have said. It is another thing for me to keep up with but is a pure joy for me to watch her experience the best of our technology. It also provides me a way to show Teilee the rules of internet and how to use it wisely! Enjoy Teilee's voice.

Still Wheeling it

2009-08-03T15:44:00.022-06:00

My poor son has what is most likely a sprained wrist. We are keeping a close eye to make sure that he is improving and that there aren't any other more serious issues. After a trip to the doctor we are pretty sure that he does not have a fracture. We may take him in again tomorrow for another round of x-rays just to make sure. It is just one of those things that happens, I had his hand while he was standing then he went floppy. His entire weight was on the wrist of the hand that I still had a hold of and bam he was injured. It is physically painful for a mother to watch her child in their pain but to cause the injury is an unexplained kind of hurt. Of course he is not a fan of the brace we force him to wear when he is likely to re injure himself. (Even telling him that his cousin wishes he had a 'robot arm' too hasn't helped.) None of this has slowed him down and he has relished in the extra attention (Teilee is getting jealous). I must balance my emotions with his need for normalcy but, 'my poor baby has a hurt arm'!!
As of Wednesday of this week he is fully recovered. We knew immediately after the first somersault of the day that he was okay.;)

This last week (July 27th-Aug. 1st) we were fortunate to have Papa come stay with us from Monday night on. He had meetings most of the days but was able to join us at breakfast and in the evening. Wednesday was Landis' birthday. We biked down to a free performance of some Grimms fairy tales and had quite the adventurous return trip in pouring rain. (Maybe pounding slamming rain is more accurate.) We topped of the evening with the blowing out of candles in Landis' birthday rice crispy treats Then Grandma Lee joined us on Thursday evening.
Friday my parents brought the kiddos to my Singing Sisters practice and were able to experience our almost performance ready set. I then had a meeting for Raintree Community School that afternoon to put the final touches on the planning for our silent auction. Then in the evening Teilee and Daddy left to take Teilee to Walking With the Dinosaurs (it was originally supposed to be a mommy daughter experience but it was Daddy's turn for a date and Mommy was really busy)! I came down with a migraine (the worst ever) and went to bed. Granma Lee and Pap took Landis grocery shopping in our other vehicle (with the newly working fuel pump).

Nick and Teilee ventured to Denver in the Suburban. The suburban has a busted key cylinder and we had made do for the last week just not turning the key off entirely and locking the doors with an extra set. On the occasion that you forget and turn the key entirely off you will spend anywhere from 15 min-1 hour trying to get it back on. Well, Nick stopped to get gas and whoops, he was stranded for about 30 mins. Right as he had got the burb started, Papa and Grandma Lee called. They were at the store (with Landis) when the key to unlock the doors had broken off in the trunk lock. Now they were stranded. Thank goodness for great neighbors. I called my friend/neighbor Rebecca and she drove down to the store to bring our extra set of keys. Then I went back to bed.

Saturday we were supposed to celebrate Landis' birthday with cake, gifts, etc... After losing my Friday evening to that migraine I was scrambling to get everything together for the auction (including myself). We had a mini celebration complete with a gifted moon pie cake (thanks Rebecca) for Landis and ice cream for the rest of us. Landis opened up his gifts from Grandma Lee and Papa, Rebecca, and Teilee. We have yet to have his entire birthday celebration but maybe soon.

I left late afternoon, right after Grandma Lee and Papa departed for the airport, to help with set up of the auction. The event started at 6:00 and we were just finishing when people started ariving. Then my choir began to assemble outside for the remaining moments before our set. We performed for 30 mins and I have to say that I think we did a great job! What an event, we even had someone bid on a timeshare vacation in Hawaii for $5000. We had a great night with some great performances and raised some money for our school.

Really all this busy craziness is typical of my life (hence the title of my blog) but I have to say it was great to have mom and dad experience some of it. We often set aside a lot of what we are doing to fully enjoy our visitors. We were not able to do that this time and it made for a bit of a frantic vacation for them, but was great for us to have help with the kids while trying to juggle our lives. I wish I could say I am recovering but this week has been just as busy as the last. This summer seems to be filled with an abundance of time consuming events and projects. I am actually looking forward to winter, or at least looking forward to what I perceive will be more time!

Chicken Buisness

2009-07-27T00:27:00.012-06:00

On Nick's birthday his feathered girls gifted him with our first egg. We were unsure which chicken was laying but we had some suspicions. Throughout the last week our white leghorn began laying beautiful white eggs alongside the other anonymous egg layer. We were so excited to see all our care and hard work begin to pay out.

Today Teilee was peeking into the neighbors backyard hoping to spy a playmate to speak with and discovered, to her horror, our white leghorn in her final resting place. She screamed, cried, and was destroyed to see her precious Brachiasaurus laying dead in the grass, feathers strewn about the yard. A couple of the chickens were let out of the coop this morning and unfortunately we did not think much of it. The biggest danger of leaving them in the backyard was the damage they might inflict on my garden. Brachiasaurs, our fastest, noisest chicken, decided to teach us a lesson and flew over the fence into the neighbors yard. One of the dogs in the yard was probably overjoyed at the presence of this super fun new live toy. She was not mauled horribly or eaten so we were able to recover the 'body' where we plucked a few feathers for Teilee to remember her chicken by. Once Teilee was able to quit crying she decided she really wanted to leave the chicken somewhere that a fox could eat it. Despite loving that idea, for simplicty sake, I convinced her to bury the chicken in the greenbelt where a fox could dig her up but she would not attract unesecary human attention. Landis was so curious and kept asking if he could step on the dead chicken or poke her with a stick. He thought if he poked her hard enough he could wake her up.
RIP Brachiasaurus.

We are recovering from losing our Brachiasaurs and have now decided to take a few more chickens in before winter. Hopefully this week we will be able to rig up our coop to have room and provide some seperation from the other girls. Then we will be ready to go chicken shopping again. We had lost one other chicken previously due to it deciding to stetch its vocal chords and become a rooster. Now we are down to six chickens. Unfortunately the chicken we lost today was already an egg layer. However we are sure that the rest will begin laying soon.

We did learn who was laying the other eggs.
After all the excitment of the morning Teilee brought our small banam, T-rex, to the front door. Teilee bent down, still holding the chicken, and an egg droped onto the sidewalk. Yup, the chicken layed an egg while Teilee was holding it. What was great was that Teilee, our neighbors two daughters, and our neighbor Chris were all witnesses to the event. Crazy!! We pulled out the camera and recreated the scene for posterity. Most chickens begin laying pullet eggs, which are small early versions of the bounty to follow. The light brown eggs we were finding have always been small. I believed it to be normal that pullet eggs just stay small for a while. Now I know that they are small because they are from our small Banam. T-rex will always be our smallest chicken and will always lay small eggs. They are what Landis would call 'cute' eggs (anything small these days is 'cute'). 'Cute' eggs from a 'cute' chicken.

Picture Blog

2009-06-29T12:44:00.015-06:00

Our trip to the museum. We really have a lot going on and I have a hard time keeping up with it all. I have not been so great about taking pictures but fortunately still take enough to document outings such as this one. We went to the Denver Museum's Free Day and man what a day. This really was Teilee's trip. Teilee loves her dinosaurs and the last time we were here was when she was about two. Her dino knowledge rivals the experts and she was schooling mommy and daddy on what dino was what. If we were confused, she set us straight. Watching her experience the hall of dino fossils was incredible. She was at home. Literally, she sat down in the middle of the floor pulled out her notebook and began to draw what she saw. I am not sure how long this fascination with dinosaurs will last but one thing is sure, we will enjoy the ride.

Here Teilee and I get to hold a tarantula. So those who think I am still skittish around the arachnids can now rest assured that we have made our peace.

Teilee does a little animal dance..

Landis gathers moonrocks.

Teilee rocks the astronaut garb.

Teilee and Landis outside of the museum for a little picnic lunch.

Teilee holding a t-rex tooth.

Size comparison.

While it was extremely crowded we had a great day and fulfilled a long standing desire to take the kiddos to the museum. After the Museum we stopped and said goodbye to our friends that were moving to Amsterdam. Their daughter and Teilee are the same age and are just so great together. Some bonds are just so deep and effortless. They don't see each other often, and now will see each other even less, but Teilee always thinks of her as her best friend.

Sewing, Walks, and Beyond

2009-05-23T17:54:00.012-06:00

SEWING
I have done a bit of sewing this month. This is one project that has been on my to-do list since I read the book "The Creative Family". This author has a fabulous blog that I go to when I need inspiration. This is a pair of pants for Landis that I made from a shirt I purchased at a garage sale. I am working on finishing a pair of wrap around pants for myself. I also have some grocery and bread bags to sew. I am suddenly drawn to the machine and am wanting to begin some larger projects and quilts. This is certainly not the time of year to be indoors sewing but I am craving this creative mode and can not deny it.

WALKS
With Nick gone in the evenings, the kids and I have begun taking walks. Thanks to our new jogging stroller (Thanks Eva!) the children are delighted to ride and let me stretch my legs! We have walked when it was cold, warm, dark, and whenever! The kids love to throw a blanket over the shield and create their own little cave. Here they can whisper secrets, read books, and share snacks without mom's intrusion. Often it has been a wonderful way to snooze while traveling home from a picnic with Daddy at his nearby job site.

We ventured to a local nature area one night and discovered a small stream with some wonderful trees that has turned into a common gathering place for us to explore.

Unfortunately we are not the only visitors to this place. At least the villains properly named themselves when spray painting this tree. It is quite a challenge to explain to Teilee how mommy feels about grafiti. I often find grafiti on buildings and even trains a beautiful artistic expression. However it is also an act of vandalism and I do not condone the random acts of nature or property distruction. That was my soapbox and I think that Teilee and Landis are a few years away from understanding the grey areas of grafiti. :)

Some walks make for late nights but we are fond of the views at night also. The blooms on this tree are spectacular in the day and sureal on a quite night. The street light helps for us to find our footing when the moon is hidden or small. Despite the non-natural light we are still able to spot the stars and the artwork painted in our sky. Human noise is quiter and the wildlife (including neighborhood foxes) tend to expose itself.
We love taking our walks and hope to discover more amazing secrets about our neighborhood!

BEYOND
A great thing about the town where we live is our access to cheap organic flowers. On rare occasions we gift ourselves with a beautiful view on our table. We also grow our own centerpieces.We were growing Wheat grass for Easter and happened to have a neighbor with a wheat grass juicer. Oh yes, even the kiddos got in on the green goodness of wheat grass juice!

Our mountain sunsets are amazing and we get a view of both from our backyard. I wish I could capture the color of them with my camera. Someday I will have a camera worthy of the pictures I wish to take!
It has been absolutely beautiful and unpredictable this spring. If you can't tell I am feeling truly lucky to have this and hope that you are vicariously experiencing it through me.

Spring Treasures

2009-05-23T16:29:00.015-06:00

Every year we are overcome with the excitement that comes with planting and preparing our garden. We have lived in this house for almost four years and this will be our third garden and our third spring. Our yard has changed significantly over the years. Our boring backyard of grass, 4 trees, and a lilac bush in the corner, has grown into a large garden, swings, small flower gardens, side beds, kids corners, a chicken coop, and more. The entrance to our house lies on a sidewalk that passes between the house and our garage. What I call the front door is flanked on either side by what I call the 'side garden'. In previous years we ripped out massive vines that covered the entire section and have replaced it with many different flowers, vegetables, and herbs. Last year we went to town planting and it has been a delight watching what we tended bloom and grow. Everyday something has changed or developed like little thank you gifts. Our own rewards for the effort. New to the side bed this year is some chocolate mint, some peppermint, and of course a few tomato plants. I am hoping that this area will bloom with a variety of sights and smells (and will help make some great tea too)!

(This is the West side of our property with our garden and small aspen trees.)

While the building of the chicken coop has taken over the yard I know that the random screws, blocks of wood, and mess will soon be cleared out and we can resume the remainder of our projects. Yet to build is a tepee (from logs and then surrounded with sunflowers), a deep pitted sandbox, more garden beds, the rest of our bohemian garden fence with arbors, a small pond, arbors over our patio, a small back porch, oh I can keep going. In fact I do believe that I am thinking of a few other things to do! :)

Recently a friend visited our backyard for the first time and commented on the little surprises hidden throughout our space. She said something to the tune of how she would love to be a child in our backyard, all the areas of discovery. I have consciously worked hard to make this a space that our kiddos would thrive in. Little hiding areas, natural toys (sticks, rocks, shells, etc..), tools and kitchen ware for the sandbox, small faerie houses and gardens, these are similar to things that I enjoyed in my youth and continue to adore. I wanted my children to gain the same pleasure. I have tried to create these with their growth and learning in mind. I can not move them out into the country/mountains, but I can create our own little homestead in the city.

Our work year round pays off every spring and summer. We planted a crocus spiral (a large one) in the grass in our backyard last fall. We only received a few blooms but are anticipating next year to have a flowering masterpiece. Someday there may be a smiley face, or heart of crocus in the front yard as well. :) Last fall we found a few caterpillars and watched them cocoon and then transform into moths. This is one of our pet moths enjoying its first breath of the outdoors.
With our hectic schedule and lives we are fortunate to have such peace in our outdoors. We also have been generously gifted so much of what makes our backyard beautiful. The wood for the chicken coop, the absolutely stunning garden fence (Thanks Delta), the logs for the tepee, herbs and plants, and so much more. It is no easy task to achieve all the work we accomplish with young children at home. Although I love the exhaustion that comes with these outdoor tasks (mowing, shoveling manure, etc..), it is difficult to pair that with the exhaustion of child rearing. We are not always able to do everything we would wish to do in a single day or week. We are careful in our creation and are remaining conscious of the environment, our children's development, and our own enjoyment.

I am overjoyed with what we have created and excited to see the shape of things yet to come.

Another leaf

2009-05-14T15:31:00.007-06:00

When reviewing old photos it is easy to see how much Teilee has grown physically. The difficult task is to identify the day to day areas of growth. Teilee has been taking pictures for many years but I have noticed that more recently she is able to find what she wants to photograph and then focus and center her target. No easy task when one of your subjects is the fast and furious Landis. Here is a sample of the photos Teilee has taken recently.

Yes, that is my son dressed in his Sunday best. Complete without clothes, with a cape, crown, and sister's rain boots.

Then we have captured Landis stiring up trouble in the bathroom and with sister's dinosaurs. I love seeing the photographer in the photo!

I have no idea how she got the camera to focus on the water. Really it is incredibly difficult with our camera. Our old digital used to take pictures quicker and focusing in at shorter range. Don't ask my why? This one, unless you are four feet back, is almost impossible to get it to focus.

I love seeing things from their viewpoint and even landis gets in on the gig. Although he likes to take pictures of peoples bottoms right now so beware the boy with the camera. It is great watching these two weeds grow another leaf.

Final Stretch

2009-04-27T10:50:00.004-06:00

We are nearing the end of our no TV and facebook month. I have to say I am concerned at how excited I am to have those things back. We have snow again today. We have had quite a few rainy, cold, snowy days during the last month. I am not feeling very well (no swine flu yet) and would absolutely love to snuggle under the blankets with the kids while watching a movie. Nick complicated things by saying, "we are close enough to a month, let's watch a little TV. What's the harm?". Bad Nick, testing my resolve so close to the finish line. The kids have been relatively unaffected by the whole experiment. Twice Teilee has asked when no TV month is over (only twice). I guess the lesson is, the kids are fine, they get an okay amount of TV. Not too much, not to little. However, mama maybe gets too much. I definately use TV and facebook as a way to escape. Usually the TV comes on after the kids are in bed at night and I do nothing but veg. I don't know if this is something I want to change. I will ponder some more. We are not going to watch TV until this Sat. the 2nd. That way we can have a family movie night with snacks, drinks, pillows, blankets, and cuddling. I know the kids will enjoy that as a reintroduction to the possibility of TV again. I will continue to contemplate if any changes need to be made to my TV and computer habits. Perhaps restrictions like only two days a week (maybe three). I must decide before the switch is turned back on and I have open access to it all.

Happy Earth Day

2009-04-22T21:30:00.002-06:00

I thought I would pass this along since it basically sums up Earth Day for me. My sis says it all with her blog about Earth Day!

Click on the link or just type this into your browser and happy reading!

http://mammashere.blogspot.com/2009/04/happy-earth-day.html

This year we are going to spend the week cleaning the trash out of our greenbelt. We do this every walk we take but this time we are going to really get to the nitty gritty. This year I only managed to get a few friends and their kids involved (one even told his mom that this was the one thing he wanted to do for Earth Day), but next year I think I will try for the whole neighborhood. Then I want to pursue a neighborhood garden out there, if the city will let me. Anyways, Happy Earth Day!

(sing to the happy birthday song)

Happy Earth Day to you,
Happy Earth Day to you,
Happy Earth Day to everybody,
Happy Earth Day to you!

Death and Pants

2009-04-20T21:30:00.003-06:00

The kiddos and I were driving in the car tonight when the most interesting discussion occurred between Teilee and I. While Landis sang "I am a rock star" (by Pink) in the background we were simultaneously listening to "Knocking on Heaven's Door". Teilee was of course inquisitive about why this fellow was knocking on heaven's door. I explained several scenarios that could explain his lyrics, being careful to not reveal the answer nor to upset delicate emotions surrounding death. Teilee thinks about this for a while and is silent, the music continuing in the background and Landis persisting with his rendition of a loud pop song. After a while Teilee asks, "Mommy will you take me to Heaven's door"? I asked her why and she of course said that she wanted to say hello to someone. "Who would that be?", I asked smiling. "Great Grandma", was her reply. I said while we are up there we could say hello to Strider too (our neighbors old dog who when he died we discussed how he would help keep Great Grandma company). We continued to discuss Great Grandma, death, and the inability to get to Heaven's door until she had enough of sad things and moved on to the happy side of life. Her little brain processes things in such a philosophical and profound way. I try to not insert my own logic into the mix (which is soooo hard for me to not do). When I am able to let her 'thinks' (her word) find her voice on her own I am constantly amazed at the things she teaches me!

So entirely random but still needed to share. We went to the museum yesterday. Oh yes, we saw the dinosaurs and Teilee recognized almost every single one by their fossil skeleton. She ever had to set Daddy straight on a few;) I will have to share some pictures of that experience sometime. However, when we returned home I took to the massive pile of laundry. (We thought we had caught up with moms help the previous weekend, but we were wrong.) Despite my exhaustion and constant dreading of folding and putting away I was able to drag myself to the chore. As I was folding Landis' pants I realized that these could be the smallest pants I was ever to fold again. If indeed we are done having children (which some days I think we are, and some days I think we aren't), then once Landis grows out of those size 2T pantsm, they will disappear from my laundry. Sometimes it is easy to forget how fleeting these chores are (or at least at this magnitude) and how we will miss seeing their tiny pants and socks in those massive piles of laundry. If I can keep this in mind every time I fold, I swear it will be a loving, beautiful, wonderful experience. Then when Teilee is 20 and Landis is 17, and I inevitably come across one of their size 2T pairs of pants I will think longingly of that time when they could wear them but I will also remember that I cherished it then too.

No TV + No Facebook = hunger

2009-04-07T22:14:00.004-06:00

Tomorrow will be the week mark of no TV and facebook. The kids haven't asked once to watch anything and really aren't missing it. Like I anticipated, it has been hardest for me and for Nick. We really, really, really want to flick on the TV after the kids are in bed and he is home and just veg. I am hoping this desire will fade and be replaced with a better relaxation habit. Already the programing of flipping over to facebook whenever I am on the computer is fading and that is a good thing. I do miss it, and there was one occasion where I really needed to get on so that I could get some contact info on someone. (I couldn't remember for the life of me what her buisness was named and so couldn't find it on etsy.) I resisted and found it elsewhere, whew, crisis averted! The tricky part is figuring out what crosses the line. Online TV, no. You Tube, yes. Downloaded netflicks, a definite no. Computer games, yes. Blog, yes. I think I might step it up a notch each week. Maybe this next week I will cut out either computer games or you tube, cutting out the other the next week. Then maybe I will cut out the blog for my final week. It is hard to distinguish where the line is and how far I want to take it. I think I might even reintroduce things slowly and with limits so that we don't go overboard when the restirction is lifted. That way we won't be starved for TV and ravinously binge on the devil.

Doctor update!

2009-04-02T18:20:00.002-06:00

Briefly had to update. Just got back from my kinesiologist where we went over my neurological test results. My cortisol, Epinephrine, and norepinephrine levels were low. My Norepinephrine levels were the lowest he has ever seen. These are the chemicals in the brain that help with energy, they get you up out of bed in the morning. He said if he didn't know me and was just looking at the paper he would be shocked to see that person out of bed. Very, very validating. I have definitely been struggling with energy, and struggling to function normally everyday. The good news is that my Serotonin levels are back up. Last year that number was the lowest he had ever seen. Also the chemical that regulates anxiety is back to normal and I definitely feel that. I am soooooo excited to fix the few issues I have with some quality supplements and get back to ruling the world:)

hiphopopatamus

2009-04-02T09:50:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk

Day 1

2009-04-01T20:16:00.005-06:00

Of all days to begin with no TV. Couldn't I just say April Fools I was just kidding about not watching TV or using facebook? I am thinking that I should strengthen my resolve and unplug the computer for a few days. I definitely use these mediums to curve boredom, insanity, and mental clutter. I have had a long day. Teilee has shown her skills in defiance and Landis is refusing sleep. Usually I could tune out and turn on the TV. Clearly I must develop better coping skills for these situations;)

Yesterday the kids and I were in the car headed home when Teilee informed me what it would be like if she "ran the world".
The sky would be white, the clouds blue, the lakes green, the snow purple, the trees would have purple leaves, pine cones would be green, the grass would be rainbow, and the mountains would be red in the fall. Houses would have a "wee bit of green on them". Everyone would have 1 cat and 1 dog. Everyone would have the same stuff so no one would ever be jealous. There would be no cars, no motorcycles, no gas stations and we all would have bicycles. Lastly school would only be for one day in the winter.
Even though I was driving I scrambled to write this all down so that it would not evaporate from my memory (as so many things do).

I am headed now to read a book while picturing a rainbow world full of bikes and void of jealousy.

This week I'm Mama Bear

2009-03-30T18:25:00.005-06:00

Hello all,
So most of you know that we are participating in the no TV challenge for the month of April. I am including a ban on facebook for next month but have decided to allow my blogging. This way I can keep my journal going and not feel like I will have to catch up in the month of May. April couldn't be a better month for this. I have so many projects that need my undivided attention. First we need to plant seeds and prepare the garden, I want to repaint the kids room, finish decorating the living room, start on an overall house purge, have a garage sell, begin fixing up the garage for my craftroom/classroom, find a wealthy land owner to donate land to the up and coming Raintree Charter school, work on the backyard landscaping, and oh man gotta catch up on cleaning, laundry, and sewing. I don't know if riding myself of couch surfing will actually contribute more to my available time to do those things but it is certainly exciting thinking that it will!

Here's what I am giving up: The kids typically watch 1-2 hours of TV on one day a week. Usually that day is Friday but not always. I usually watch TV when I am not feeling well, after the kids are in bed, and when Nick is home. I check my facebook account 2-3 times a day usually not for more than a few minutes but enough that it is an interruption (a welcome one) to my day.

I don't know if anyone has read the "Bearenstein Bear's TV Habit" book, but I am hoping the whole thing will go something like that! Who know's, maybe the month will allow me to strictly limit our TV even more throughout the year. Wednesday (April Fools Day) is the 1st and that is the day that the power goes out, well at least on the boob tube!

My Girls

2009-03-20T15:51:00.021-06:00

We recently entered into the realm of chicken ownership. What began as a simple quest to have eggs, has become a full 'fledged' effort to educate our kids and enhance our lives. We began with 1 tiny fluffy chick and attempted to have it inside. Unfortunately the dangers inside were far more concerning than the cold outside. We have since increased our numbers to eight and have varying ages from a week old to almost 3 weeks old. They are so fluffy and cute, peeping whenever we are near.

Nick nearly completed two coups last weekend with the help of one of our neighbors (one for us, one for them). I quickly realized that the size of our flock and the size of the coup would not mesh. We are deciding to either enlarge the current coup or make a new hen house. Regardless, Nick was able to create these coups in one afternoon with the use of free scrap materials that we have accumulated. If the current coup is deemed useless we will sell it. (This could be another great way to earn some extra income.)

I am on a quest to beautify and simplify my life. My backyard and kids areas are one of my top priorities. It is my desire to redesign our backyard to create play nooks and areas to inspire creativity. In the next month I will build a sunflower house using natural materials (logs, sticks, bark, twine, sunflowers, etc..), also a deep open sandbox, plant some large growing grasses, plant our garden, incorporate more natural toys into our outdoors play areas, and many more projects. Of course it just so happens that almost all of these projects require absolutely no funds. Yes, I am getting very creative!

We considered my goal in our desire to have eggs. This is why our flock of gals is varied and diverse. We wanted a variety of color in the hen house as well as in the eggs. This is certainly a benefit of being able to buy one of each variety of chicken and not having to order them from a dealer. Kudos to the legalization of backyard chickens. I am loving the process of raising chicks and it has become a focus in the kids daily life. I may not have the ability to live on a farm but I can experience a small part of farm life through our chickens.

My friend Sharon took pics of her flock and posted them on her blog. I absolutely loved the idea. I also think it is a great way to remember what kind each chicken is and to capture their youth. After all, they have changed dramatically in only a week! Here they are:

First our beautifully colored Speckled Sussex, Dahlia. This is momma's bird.

This is our Buff Brahma Bantam, T-Rex. She was the original chick and has been with us from the begining.

Our Buff Orpington named Velociraptor. She is very mild mannered and docile.

This is our unknown chicken, Cauliflower Compsognathus. She is most likely a whiter version of a Maran and we will know by how dark her eggs are. This one we left at the store and I just couldn't stop thinking about her. After two days we went back and she was still there. I am just so curious about what she will be!

This is our Maran, Hazel Saltapus, and as you can see she is definately darker than the other.

This is our White Leghorn (pronounced leg-urn, and make sure to say it with a southern drawl). Brachiasaurus is definitely the brute of the bunch. She is a production layer and will have white eggs. She tends to dominate the group and is the 'chick in charge'!

This is one of two Americana's. She is named Blackbird (a name Landis chose after his favorite song). We got them today and I absolutely love them. These will lay a variation of green to blue eggs.

This is Archaeopteryx Cadbury our second Americana, she has such beautiful back markings I just had to show off. She is much lighter with more yellow than the other Americana. Both of these birds will be uniquely colored when they are mature.

Teilee holding Archaeopteryx Cadbury.

As you can see we shall have a colorful group of chickens and eggs. We are so excited!
I thought I would show you one of the coups made. I am thinking this is most likely a four chicken coup.

This really is exciting to be able to provide ourselves with our own eggs. Now all Fort Collins needs to legalize is having a goat;). A large garden, edible landscaping, and chickens, we are becoming more self sufficient and healthy everyday! Happy Spring!

Two in one night, what's up!

2009-02-28T23:36:00.006-07:00

So I decided that most of my writing is dark and often dreary and I wanted to change it up. I began thinking about the wonderful times had with my children at our local park. What started as a lovely piece on the wonders of our playground, turned into a short essay about poop. I don't know how I do it?:) This one is a work in progress but when it has been progressed I think I might post it at our local park.

Here is that essay:

The grass all but crunched beneath my feet. If it weren’t for the melting frost the grass would cease to squish and would burst into flames. Never have the blades been so parched for moisture. The ground counts, in drops, the iced dew that dabbles on the ragged grass. I step swiftly sideways to avoid the droppings that are quite certainly from a dog whose owner could not lazily stroll to the plastic bag receptacle to obtain a much needed and almost always provided baggie. Occasionally I reminisce about the rumors of coyotes in this area, somehow the possibility that this pile could be that of a wild animal makes it much more palatable. If only that were coyote poop I could excitedly show my children the wonders of wildlife. However, being highly trained in the identification of scat, I can correctly identify it as that of a negligent pet owner. This is a destination location. There is not a dog owner that visits this park that does not understand what their pet intends to do there. Clearly my children’s feet need not to tramp confidently, carelessly through a field. We are apparently undeserving of our soccer field, and kite flying meadow when a dog’s bowel is needy. We are accustomed to the inability of rolling down a hill at a moment’s notice. We are educated on the way in which to step nimbly over the obstacle. Do these dogs not head home with smears on their paws? Do they not recognize their own consequences and suffering? I wonder if the owners, noticing the dry ground, believed that their contribution to our park would provide earthly nourishment. Of course my justifications are only another sign of my ability to see half full.

Old Poem

2009-02-28T22:59:00.003-07:00

I wrote this a while ago, I may have already shared it. I don't think I considered it complete at the time and so there is no title. Here it is in all its graphic strangeness:

You exist on the scraps of my soul,

Feeding hungrily on the carnage that was me,

Like a wolf ravenously devouring the remnants of kill,

You have so bathed in the blood of my death.

What I was, what I could have been,

I am but a shadow,

A fragment of bone in the grass that was once a majestic and prized pelt.

The whispered rumors of strength and beauty are all that remain.

You have stolen the future.

I can't even keep track of myself!

2009-02-18T21:42:00.016-07:00

I have written about a dozen blogs and not published a one of them.
We have had lots going on and most of my blogs have had tons of boring, blah, often negative things that I really don't think you want to hear.

We really have had a lot going on so this will be my sorta journal update!

The Low Down:

Landis will not stop singing Wagon Wheel. It's first thing he asks for in the morning and the last thing he wants to hear before going to sleep at night. We are Wagon Wheeled out! I have tried to get him interested in other songs only to have those become obsessions along with Wagon Wheel. At least he is expanding his repitoire, but please Landis no one wants to hear the same song a million times!
Here he fell asleep while with me at the computer!

Nick is now in school 3 nights a week. He is working a day job, and a night job. On the nights he has school he goes to his night job after class. He has expanded and is now pursing two home businesses. They are BeatNick Audio and a new woodworking business building solid wood kids toys. He is home 2 hours in the late afternoon, these are precious hours.

I am partaking in a home school co-op, and also working in my spare time on helping to establish a Waldorf inspired Charter School. I also have been working hard to find as many fun and fulfilling activities that I can. I am part of several different groups: A birth activist group, a book club, and a monthly singing group. All are just fun and fabulous for me!

Teilee has had several orthopedist visits and I finnally found a doctor who recommends getting orthodics to stabilize her foot and add in calf stretching exercises, then wait to see what happens. Basically all the research I have done says the same thing and I am happy to have found an experienced doctor. The only problem now is getting insurance to pay for it. Unnecessary surgery they will pay for, but they won't help with the much cheaper and more helpful orthodics.

Teilee has been a vibrant little helper these days and has even assisted in putting Landis to bed and in tending to a sick mommy. Her in depth knowledge of dinosaurs grows along with her curiosity. She has resorted to telling mommy and daddy the hip type of each dinosaur. I have no idea if she is right, I don't have that kind of memory. I have got to get this child to the Denver museum. I believe they have a free day next month and I intend to take her. She has also stated that we need to travel to Canada, Australia, and Germany to see certain
dinosaur fossils. She was concerned though that if we traveled for longer than a day that we would have to sell our house, get rid of our cats, and move there. Of course I just thought that was so sad that she has never had a real vacation or even a visit to grandparents that involved both Nick and I for longer than two days. She doesn't understand the concept.

She is in the barrel in this picture. It was an elaborate pulley system that she a some other kiddos came up with. They would climb into the barrel from the bridge and then lower each other down to the ground.

We are still struggling financially, but have had a ton of support lately that has made me feel so positive about the future. It is still difficult that when I need a new bra, or the kids need a new pair of shoes that these things have now been deemed unnecessary and quite frankly just not possible. We are headed in the right direction though so hopefully this will be temporary (if you don't count the last 4 years).

We have recently begun our house re-vamp/spring cleaning/decorating/finishing projects. We tackled the living room last weekend and discovered our need for shelves. I didn't want to spend money and knew that I had some extra books so this happened........

They work great for all the little knick knacks and it looks like the books are floating on the wall. I love it and they were free!

Then I kept working......

We took another bookshelf, chopped its legs off and put them inside the bookshelf as shelves. I brightened up the paint and hung it vertically instead of horizontally and walla, insta shelf (on the right). Then I painted the mirror red over a pastel green and scuffed it up. It turned out great too. I intend to paint the red doors, accent walls, and all of the trim in our house white, then next month we will paint our kitchen cabinets white. Then either our appliances or our counter or something fabulous will be red. I am so ready to get our house in shape and am excited to flex my creativity. As long as I can keep it free or almost free I am sure I will be able to do almost everything that I want to. Thank god for freecycle, and craigslist and my already abundant supply of decorating, painting, remodeling gear!

I am craving some creative writing so be prepared for something in the near future that does not include journaling or updating.

Busy busy busy and I have only included a portion of our lives I wish you had time for all of it......I wish I had time for all of it!

New Do

2009-01-25T22:20:00.010-07:00

In an attempt to empower myself and to save a few extra bucks I cut my own hair today.

This is the after shot. Mind you it is not styled, curled, or blow dried but since that is usually how I roll I needed a cut that would look good without attention. Nick helped me with an even cut in the back and then I went to town on the layers. Having some natch wave and thick locks definitely benefited me. I have been cutting Teilee's, Landis', and Nick's hair for a long time and from now on maybe I will do my own too. It is convention that tells us that we must have this done by a professional. I say it's my hair and I will do what I want to. If all else fails I have the shears that I use to buzz cut Nick's hair (beard hair right now) short. I can always go bald too!:)

This weekend we had two stand out events. One being the Raintree Charter School Meeting. Exciting things happening there and great people involved. Even though it was hard I stuck to my boundaries and didn't throw my name into the ring of contention for a seat on the Steering Committee. I think my skills will be better served in a supporting role anyways. To see a community of support for this is wonderful and I say it is about time that this town had a school like this.

The second being the deflowering of our Settlers game with our friend De. (Yes, Kara I am ashamed to say that was the first time we played our own game. It seems that people who know how to play usually have their own set.) Even though we invited her over for dessert and games, she winded up providing all of the dessert. Ummmm.....those choco covered strawberries are still on my mind. We have been needing to do that for a while and unfortunately Mr. De was out of town. Next time we will have a four player game. I have to say that it took me years of playing Settlers before I made it past 6 points. In her first time ever De earned 7 points and was in near contention for first. Nick and I are baffled at how she picked it up so quickly. Lots of fun, too much wine, too much chocolate, and I can't wait to do it again!

This week we have a busy one, that's no surprise. Tomorrow we are meeting with our 'financial advisor' who has already worked some miracles with us.
Nick will have school this week but no UPS. He is on vacation from UPS which means he will be able to work more hours at his day job. He is still restructuring his work schedule to allow for the night course.
And now some catch up pics........

Landis loves the cream cheese. This was the day he snuck into the kitchen, pulled the cream cheese out of the fridge, put some crackers on a plate, got a butter knife out of the drawer and started spreading. After a few crackers had been adequately dosed with the cream cheese he decided it was a lot more fun to slice off pieces to go directly into his mouth.

My two lovies nursing their babies.

Flying high at the park. Landis never misses an opportunity for mommy or daddy to go "un'neath", or to kick us to the ground! Teilee is a pro at the swings and loves to show off her skills!

My crocodile and my ghost. Teilee helped assemble this costume for Landis one day and he walked up and down the house booing. She then equipped herself with the croc suit and roared along with him. I had to include all three pics. One they are sounding off, the other they are giving me the same squinty smile, and the third just shows their bond. There have been many occasions where I will catch Teilee just randomly telling Landis she loves him. He refuses to hold mommies hand when Teilee's is the alternative. I love that they adore each other and this impromptu hand holding is not a rare occasion. I am just glad I captured it on film.

Hope you have a bootacular day! Write you later alligators!

Why I hate Doctor shopping

2009-01-22T16:57:00.005-07:00

I have been completely unfocused and scatterbrained this week. It could be the sinus infection, lack of sleep, of the added stress of Nick going to school. Regardless I feel the need to write something even with my filter off. Brace yourselves.......

We have been trying to find a new doctor. While I would love to have a naturopathic doc, or to just go back to our kinesiologist, I really need a traditional physician (one who accepts insurance). Teilee's toe walking is creating issues in her leg, knee, hip, and foot development. She may need to wear braces and or special shoes to correct this. I am hoping it won't be the Forest Gump kind.:) Whatever they are, we will call them her magic shoes and let her show them off to every person she meets. We tried out our first doctor today who came highly recommended by Grandma Betty back in the day. The first and only requirement that I have is that our new doctor needs to respect my decisions as a mother and be open to what it is I am doing. At least to not criticize or tell me that they know better. Most everything I am doing comes backed up with research, I am not making decisions based on a whim. You can imagine today when the doctor went to check out Landis' intact penis I was immediately on guard. Current research shows that there is no, I repeat no need to give any special care to an uncircumcised penis. There is no need to pull back the foreskin and clean the area. This is a natural part of a male body that, when the child is ready and able, he will clean and tend to whatever needs to be tended to. IN FACT retracting the foreskin can actually cause damage and problems. When a boy is around 5 years old he will be taught to retract and clean when it is necessary. Cleanliness is not an issue for most males. I have heard of only two cases where circumcision was necessary and one of those was a gentleman who would have no access to any bathing for years and worked with manure. The other was a sheep farmer in Kansas that had a hard time keeping sheep manure away from his member (yeah, I wondered why too). Why the rant...well....the first thing this doctor does when he checks Landis over is to pull back my sons foreskin. It has never been retracted, has developed normally, has had no infections, and there was absolutely no need. As I protested the doctor persisted. I was nearly pulling my son of the table when he finally stopped. Then he proceeded to tell me what he was doing and why (a little late a**hole). As if I had never heard what to do with my 2 year old's member before. I explained the research that I had read that was supported by 2 other doctors that we had seen in the last year. He had the audacity to say, "Isn't that interesting, you hear different things from different sources." And then proceeded to tell me why those other doctors were wrong. Regardless of what he knew to be true, here I was a mother clearly objecting to what he was doing and being invalidated. According to him I had no right to do what I thought was right for my child because he was clearly the superior. The entitlement he felt was completely inexcusable and yet runs rampant through the medical field. I am so tired of the neglect and abuse (yeah abuse) that my children have recieved by those that I hire to help me care for them. You may not agree with what I am doing, but I have a right to educate myself and make an informed decision about the welfare of my child. Please respect that or shove it where the sun don't shine!

Winter Pic to follow the unfiltering

2009-01-12T16:49:00.003-07:00

Unfiltered

2009-01-11T22:06:00.024-07:00

Okay everyone has been there. When you are trying so hard to keep it all together and all you feel like doing is falling to pieces. Bed seems to be a formidable option to the existence that normally would lull you from its clutches. Gratitude for the people, events, and places in your life struggles to overcome the enlightenment of your overwhelming circumstances. I know that we have all been there when it is trying and difficult to maintain a balance between what pulls you down and what props you up.
I live an existence that permits me to find joy in the little things and to experience the benevolence of open minded people. I fight a stereotype that constantly tries to overpower my existence. I have tried to undermine these and play them as insignificant factors in what determines my day to day survival. I use the term survival because that is what beckons at my door when I lose a moment of focus or succumb to illness. It is difficult in a system that is set against me, to rise up and regain my composure.
I do this through my work. I work at being healthy, I work hard. I work at financial stability, I work hard. I work at raising children, I work hard. I work at all of my extra endeavors and yes I work hard there too. And yet my stereotype tells me that I could work harder. That I should work harder. That I can succeed if I just work harder. This is what our society believes, wants to believe. If the system is unjust, if it could happen to us, if the story of overcoming all obstacles isn't true, than we don't want to exist in that world. We have to believe that hard work is the answer. We shade the truth with rose colored glasses because we crave simplicity. It hurts me that people believe that if we solve our complex problems we shall succeed. This flosses and glosses over the reality that it is today a crap shoot and tomorrow we all could be victims of a system. We blind ourselves to those that need because we all have pain and misery. How unfortunate that we rob ourselves of true generosity. That we refuse to give unless there is a benefit, unless there is progress, unless we see the results, unless we ourselves are perfectly stable. How unfortunate that we tell millions of people that they are to blame, and they are the reason, and they made their choices. How ignorant.
I am exhausted in refuting the belief that I have not earned an existence beyond what I have. That I have not made the choices necessary or absorbed the knowledge deemed vital.
I am sickened by the superiority to which people exclaim that they have earned it because of what they have gone through, what they have endured. Emotional, physical, and spiritual health do not grant or guarantee. Those who work hard in their jobs forget that they did not have to work harder than their jobs (or 5 jobs) to get to somewhere, anywhere. They were allowed their brass ring, their extravagance while making mistakes and remaining unwhole. Their outcome was not determined by their status. Their status was determined by their outcome.
I am for the majority happy and content. Every person has their demon and mine tends to be one of those that draws little to no empathy or sympathy. Yet I have found where I need to be to love, and laugh, and live, and yes to give.
Despite your situation, and without your belief, stand and help, stand and give. You shall receive no joy or hope, you are not supposed too. To benefit a broken system we all must rise and exclaim loudly through our actions, "The world will benefit from my existence despite and because of my stereotype and my fight."

My goal this year is to unfilter as much as possible and to dispel the myths of a generation. I can't wait to share how it goes.........

Whooooooooohoooooo!

2008-12-30T14:58:00.002-07:00

Happy New Year to you all! Thanks everyone for the awesome Christmas! This was the least stressed I have ever been and it was wonderful. I certainly missed giving gifts, but have lots of great ideas when we have the money and time. You all have some fabulous gifts coming....someday:)

I was so excited about everything that I have going on right now I just had to share! I had a Facilities Board Meeting today for the Waldorf inspired Charter school that is in the works. The board consists of two other fabulous mothers, and one other incredible father. We are trying to find land, a space, an architect, get the zoning, skip the flood plains, find the resources and do whatever it takes to find a school building for the purposed charter school. It will be called the Raintree Charter School, after the Golden Raintree. It is overwhelming and an incredible amount of work, but soooooo exciting. We are at the stage of trying to determine exactly what our needs are and may tour a few buildings next week. The goal is to have this school up and running by 2010. I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing by this time next year, but am so excited to be a part of this initial process. I was part of the Curiculum board but that has a dozen or so people so I figure my limited resources were better used in the board. It is insane what a dedicate, motivated, and a little bit crazy group of parents can achieve. Anyways, it is just one of the many things that I am spending my time on these days and I just had to share my excitement!

I will be posting some more soon......so be prepared!

2008-12-21T11:13:00.001-07:00

Annoying (but very funny) Mom phrases! @ Yahoo! Video

2008-12-11T20:06:00.002-07:00

I just had to pause in my trip blog to update my life these days. After returning from our trip last weekend I have thrown myself back into the rigors of daily life and the added approaching x-mas holiday. We were able to get a tree two days ago although that almost didn't happen. Our finances have dictated our need to have a no frills x-mas and the tree just about went out the window. I tried convincing Teilee that it would be just as fun to decorate one of our trees outside. In the end I couldn't stand the idea of not having a tree so we just went to the cheapest place we could and bought a parking lot tree. I know, I know totally not sustainable. The tree farm we went to last year was put out of business due to a tornado.
We are striving hard to make this a $0 x-mas and are falling a little short. I bought Nick a gift (I couldn't pass it up). The kids are getting gifts that we are making out of wood and or fabric. I am not sure what they will get each other. It is so much easier to let Teilee pick something out, rather than trying to guide her to make something. I have a few ideas (decoupage a fun box, doll blanket, melting crayons into heart shapes, etc...) Anyways so far our bill is around $20 (with building supplies) and that is still too much:) We still have x-mas food, stocking stuffers and a few other things, not to mention whatever Nick will get me so I don't know what our final cost will be. I am getting to stretch my creative muscles and it is quite fun! I have always loved a challenge, maybe next year we will spend absolutely no money (other than food) on x-mas. I am so fortunate to have scrap wood and tons of scrap fabric. I am grateful that I was encouraged to give up gifts for other people. Despite my wanting to give gifts the season really loses meaning when I am stressed about affording other peoples gifts. No one wants to recieve a gift from me that I can't afford and will stress out about later. Someday I will have the money and I will have all of these great ideas to use.
So these are some pretty darn dorky pictures. They were taken the fateful night (Nov. 15th) that Nick and I had a date and I was sick. Can you tell that I am sick in the pictures? I am still dealing with sinus junk but am feeling a ton better after my healing trip to Kansas! Why is it that trips are always too long and too short? It was fantastic seeing everyone and meeting little Adaira. I think she takes after her aunt Andi with her snorting, and her aunt Jessi in the looks department. I didn't take nearly enough pictures but as soon as I sort those I will include those in a blog. One trip at a time please.

How do you like my new blue streak? I have blue in the back underneath my hair as well. I think I need to do at least 3 times the amount of blue in the front. Although I also just had about 6 inches removed and I don't have a pic of that. I always wanted blue hair and so I just finally did. Hey, I don't have a job I have to go to and no one really cares if my hair is purple, or orange, or blue. Plus I am helping Landis learn his colors:)

Next week we will be making some gluten free gingerbread houses, making some outdoor edible ornaments for the birds, touring x-mas lights, singing x-mas songs with friends, maybe making candles, and just enjoying our family. We will also get together with our preschool co-op (those women rock and their kids are so great). This Sat. I have my first ever MNO (mom's night out) event. I only know a few of the women but I can't wait. Also our neighbors will be making some homebrew on Sat that I might stop by. If I wanted to spend about 13-20 bucks I could make a gluten free beer. I prefer wine anyway;) I think this has been the most busy, relaxed, interesting Christmas we have ever have! Nick has been working so much that I have had absolutely no expectations for him to be involved in the happenings and prep work for the season. He is not big on Christmas anyways so he doesn't feel left out and I am only undertaking what I absolutely can acomplish.
Plus I have been able to get the kids to bed everyday this week before 9:00 pm. YES!!!!! Tis the season to be jolly.................

Part 1 of our Trip

2008-12-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

Yes I am going to do it. After shuffling through all of the pictures and memories and am ready to chronicle our trip.

On day one we changed plans last minute and drove the short way through Wyoming into Utah arriving at our destination of Magna, Utah. Kara and the kids had just recently moved into a new home. By recently I think she had spent about a week in the house before we came! It is beautiful and big, and the backyard is incredible. I am way jealous of her gigantic grape vines, numerous fruit trees and large garden space. I am not jealous of all the work that she will be doing to the house! Knowing her it will be done by next summer:) Kara's bridal shower was shortly after our arrival. Nick and the kids went to Jimmy and Molly's house to play with Jacob and Isabel's step siblings (Levi, Stormy, and Malachi) and with their brand new baby kittens. If those kittens survive to be adopted they will be the toughest kittens ever! That's Jimmy and Molly in the picture with Teilee and Landis.

The bridal shower was a blast although I totally forgot to take any pictures! I finally got to meet some of these friends and co-workers that I have heard so much about. Kara's mom (Trina) and sister (April Lynn) were there and it was so fantastic to see them!! Despite the presence of family and even Kara's soon to be mother-in-law, presents were unwrapped, including my gift of fuzzy handcuffs and lingerie. Not to be outdone April Lynn gifted a 'personal massager'. I have to say Kara handled it very well!!:) I just had to share that because it absolutely is the last thing people expect from Kara's family and the 1st thing I love about the whole group. They break the mold and always have a great sense of self and of humor!! The next day while Jacob and Isabel were in school and Kara at work, we visited with Jimmy and Molly briefly before taking a trip out to the Great Salt Lake. We went to Antelope Island and hiked briefly before finding a fantastic, salty beach to explore. The colors of the rocks were amazing. Bright purples and greens stand out amongst the grey. It really is an incredible place. We had a few encounters with some cool spiders, buffalo, jack rabbits, and shore birds. Unfortunately the serenity was constantly interrupted with the sound of airplanes and jets taking off over the Lake. With Landis around every plane noise is an exciting adventure so we were not disturbed too much;)

Of course we had to strip off our shoes and socks (and pants for Teilee) to wade in the shallows. Despite best efforts, jeans and pants all ended up wet and smelly. It was worth it.
Due to our late arrival to the Lake we quickly headed back to Kara's for a calm evening at home. That evening we were able to get some much needed one-on-one time to catch up, laugh, cry, and remember how great it is to be around Kara (and her family). At this point we were still anxious to meet the hubby-to-be Isaac. I did begin to wonder if he was a mythical creature. That night the kids passed out from having soooo much fun! In the coming days we were looking forward to Kara and Isaac's receptions, their wedding, and getting to spend more time with our Jacob and Isabel!
Coming soon....Part 2: The Receptions

Help! Help! Help!

2008-11-11T12:14:00.007-07:00

I need ideas fast!!! I need cheap/free Christmas gift ideas for kiddos and adults!

I have 3 days to make them, the gifts have to be shippable, and about 20 kids ranging from newborn to 8 years old! Because we will be traveling next week until Dec. and I will have no time when we get back. I am crafty, have lots of paper supplies, fabric, natural elements (sticks, rocks, shells, etc...) so that might give you ideas.

Previous years for kids I have made hats, scarfs, crayon holders, magnets, bags, pillowcases, dolls, and ornaments. I am out of ideas, out of time, and am just considering forgoing Christmas totally! I want to give gifts, I have so many ideas I just don't have the finances available to do what I want.

I also need some gifts for people that live in the area. They won't have to be shipped and so can be breakable and or perishable.

For adults we have made soup mixes, bread, pasta. Some of the families on our list are gluten, dairy, and vegan so food is often difficult. Maybe granola bars, dried fruit leather? This year might be the time to forget adult gifts and just do kiddos, but I can't stand the thought. I think this will have to be our cheapest x-mas ever. Last year we did it for about $100's total and really if it could be free that would be best:)

Anyways, I thought that you all were crafty and creative and might be able to help me out!

Still working on the trip....in the meantime...........

2008-11-03T15:35:00.033-07:00

I am behind so I thought I would do a picture blog to catch up on the happenings of the last month or so.

Dad and Landis had a cooking class. My sullen son and my cheerful daughter.

Our 1 of three trips to the pumpkin patch. Landis discovered a goat, Teilee discovered her love of hot dogs, momma discovered a caterpillar, and Daddy fed a noisy donkey.

Then Grandma Lee and Papa came for a visit. Nick and I took the night off to indudge our alter egos at a happenin' costume party. The Maverick and the MILF, and yes Ms. Palin (1984) won funniest costume. The next day the Madson elders joined us in a journey to the oval for a peek at the next President of the United States. Teilee found the horses to be a main attraction but was excited when she finnally spotted Obama through the binoculars. There he is between the pedestrian sign and the tree on the left.

After all the excitment subsided Teilee was able to get back to teaching Landis acrobatics.

We finnally carved pumpkins at about 5:00pm on Halloween. Momma made a spider and Teilee carved a pumpkin entirely on her own. It was a gorgeous monster. Then Nick headed to work at 5:30. Oh how sad the kids were to have Daddy miss out on Trick-or-Treating. We surprised them when Daddy showed up at 6:30 pm. He had to make an appearance at work and then was allowed to take the night off. Teilee was so excited, it made the holiday extra special.
Fortunately Landis fit perfectly in Teilee's old monkey costume so I only had to make Teilee's costume, which I finished that morning. She insisted on being a white octopus, I think I pulled it off! Although for much of the evening, Nick or I carried her prop because it was a little heavy. Landis learned quickly that he could unwrap the suckers and continued through the evening to magically appear with candy in his mouth. It was neat watching both my 5 year old and my 2 year old say 'Thank You' and 'Happy Halloween' every time they were given candy. On what is a very gimme, gimme type holiday they were so polite and respectful. Whew! Teilee says she would like to just stay home next year and give away candy. I don't know if mom and dad are okay with that. We like getting candy, our neighborhood is very generous:)

That evening I came home and went to our neighbors house to decorate for a party I was throwing the next day. For two years now I have been wanting to throw a surprise birthday party for my friend Delta. Her birthday is on the 30th of Halloween so it works out perfectly to have a costume Halloween party. We called it a Surprise Belated Birthday Boo Bash, and invited all of Delta's friends. It was great meeting them and hanging out. Delta was shocked and I was worried. Knowing she is not a fan of surprises I knew there was a chance of not making it through the night alive:) We all wanted to let Delta know how much we love and adore her and I think we achieved the message. Whether she liked it or not we celebrated her 40th birthday in style. Although Grant had to be the most stylin'!
Here they are the buxom bathing suit beauty and the pretty parting pirate. Happy Birthday Delta!

I had to include this picture. This is the benefit of throwing a party at someone else's house. I was able to do all the prep while being unconcerned about the massive mess at my house (including the huge pile of laundry in the background).

So that was our October. Well actually that was only two weeks in October! A fast fun two weeks and I am exhausted. My health, my mind, my body will need to recover but it was all worth it! Happy Halloween and el Dia de los Muertos to everyone! Also congratulations to all you Obama supporters. I don't know about you but I am feeling really inspired, excited and hopeful. As Bob the builder says "Can we fix it? Yes We Can!" YES WE CAN!

Oh yeah!

2008-09-17T17:13:00.002-06:00

My favorite coffee shop Catalyst is having a birth art show and guess who has a painting in it! During a meeting with a birth activist group that I hold a membership in, we had an art session. For about an hour we talked and arted. What I produced during that session is now hanging at the art show! Yeah.....I can't wait to get creative again!

Sneak Peek

2008-09-15T21:40:00.004-06:00

We arrived home tonight from our trip and man was it incredible. We reunited with old friends, made a few new friends, visited the Great Salt Lake, marathoned through IKEA, attended, Kara and Isaac's wedding, explored Goblin Valley, encountered The Killers, and had some really amazing adventures! Here is a sample of some fun photography that we were able to capture. I am sure there are many more to follow! This is a completely untouched photo of the squirt on a mushroom top.

Woohw Dizzy!

2008-09-03T08:42:00.002-06:00

Man, my sinus' are filled with gunk and I am so dizzy! The last time I was like this I had a massive ear infection, although I have no pain in my ear. Yes, I have been a bit naughty with the gluten lately. It takes soooo little to affect me and soooo long to recover from.
I am so excited, we get to go on a trip next week. It will be our first vacation. It still revolves around traveling to see people but I have resigned myself that this will most likely always be. We are headed to witness the union of Kara and Isaac, soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Stewart, in Salt Lake City. We are hoping to visit Antelope Island on the Great Salt Lake, the Bonneville Flats, and Goblin State Park. Oh yeah and IKEA. I can't wait for all the fun visiting we will get to do with Kara and her family, I can't wait to meet Isaac and I am hoping that we will successfully work in all of the fun stuff too! I just don't want to be at their house day in and day out waiting for them to provide the entertainment. Although a few rounds of Settlers is almost a requirement of my visit! The only detail yet arranged is our food. Since we are trying to be diary, gluten, and sugar free I am not yet sure how we will achieve this without the comfort of our home. Any cooking will probably be a mass effort to feed a hoard of guests. We will most likely have to come prepared with food and recipies. It is a small detail in the excitment of getting to see old friends, new friends, new sites, and to have some fun adventures! Salt Lake City here we come!!!!

2008-08-27T21:40:00.002-06:00

We had a crazy weekend, typical of our house. We finally, after nearly 2 months of constant procrastination, finally had a party commemorating the kids birthdays. I suppose I will blame it on my desire to party all summer. I was a smashing success if I do say so myself. Two things that you hope for in every party: 1) Everyone has a good time! 2) Everyone will want to come back! I personally had some side goals that were sly and sneaky at best. I am looking for that compatible group of delightful children and parents to join with me in providing cheap and fun play dates in a non-denominational parenting group that I am spearheading. It could be called the alternative parenting group, or the eclectic parenting group, or the frugal parenting group I have yet to discover a name. Anyone have any suggestions? We will hopefully be non-judgemental, cheap, dedicated, conscious parenting group. I also have yet to discover the medium in which I will launch this group. I am wanting it to be an invitation only group with a calendar set up online. I will place things on the calendar which parents will visit and determine which events they will want to join us in. This way when we go to the free mushroom farm tour, the art museum, etc.., anyone who wants to can join us! Was that a long enough explanation?! I am just not having success with existing parenting groups that are either too elitist or not selective enough.

I though I would share this bit of brilliant parenting that occurred the other morning. The kids arrived at the breakfast table to discover that N had made muffins. T immediately was unhappy with the morning selection and this quickly brought me to attention. I explained that this was breakfast and she was not allowed to be disrespectful to daddy. How did this make daddy feel?, I asked. She must thank daddy for the delicious breakfast and eat the muffin or she has to go to time out and have no breakfast. She thanks N and takes a bite of the muffin through strained compliance. Then she again refuses to eat the muffin. Fine, get down from the table and go play. This is breakfast and if you choose not to eat than go right ahead and not eat, but there will be no food until snack time and that will most likely consist of the non eaten muffins.
Both T and L went and played and left me scratching my head as to why they would not want to eat or rather why was starvation a better option than muffin eating? Ahhhh.... the idea crossed my mind that maybe I should try the muffins. Turns out the baking soda and baking powder were mixed up resulting in salty, metallic tasting nasty muffins. After my own taste test I resorted to milk, juice, and water to try and wash the taste out. Now what? If I serve the kids something else for breakfast they will learn that I am wishy washy. If I admit that they were right and muffins were meant only for the compost bin then how do I tell them the next time that they must eat what we serve them! In to their room I venture and here is what I told them: "Hey guys, I am sorry but the muffins got ruined and now they are yucky so if and when you are ready to eat then you may come and have yogurt and fruit instead." The kids took pity on me and allowed my explanation to stand as they frolicked back to the table. Polite, and respectful they thank us for breakfast and ate everything we gave to them. Score 1 for taste testing first before serving hand made items! I seriously had flashbacks to Dads oatmeal and the courageous kids who ate what was before them. At least the oatmeal was a consistency issue, I tried to force my kids to eat metal with a dash of salt!

Rain Fun!

2008-08-15T13:14:00.009-06:00

There is nothing this momma loves more than a fresh rain and two eager kids! Even better if it is still raining when a walk commences. We have had an abundance of rain and we couldn't be any happier. One evening the lightening and thunder ended after bath. The kids decked out in raincoats and pjs loved stomping and jumping in the puddles.

T would spend all of her existence airborn if she could and L just loves to copy every action of his cool big sis. We stayed out until the light was gone and I was able to capture this cool shot with L where it looks as though the background is black and white. No touchups needed!

Since our neighborhood drains water very quickly, it is a rare downpour that gives us puddles. We are fortunate that we have a green belt in back that if we walk a little ways turns into a large concrete drainage area. After one downpour we walked through the marsh in the ditch and down to the concrete. There is a little ramp that the kids unsuccessfully tried to slide down but nonetheless had a great time getting wet. We were visited by a couple of horses and L rescued an abandoned frisbee. The sky was beautiful, the light was perfect, the air was warm, and the kids were wet: What could be better!!!!!!

Still in the past.....

2008-07-26T14:05:00.017-06:00

I am trying not to overwhelm you all with a mass of postings, I just really need to catch up.

We attended a birthday party in June where T got to play "What time is it Mrs. Fox?". The silly chickens ask the question and then take steps foward until the answer is "It's Dinner time!" where they then run away trying to not get tagged by the fox. T in the green dress is completely airborn (pretty normal actually).

N had a car that he worked on in a car show downtown and our friends K and E joined us. I think many of these shots capture the depth and structure of their relationship;)

I love this pic of the three of them!

T is really into holding hands which is great because L is really into not ever holding hands. (He is definately establishing his independence.)

I couldn't get them to look at the same time!

A day at our neighborhood park.

I am starting a club that will be called the EX-PC's (exhausted parents club). Membership is open to anyone who is exhausted (parents or non-parents). We will be meeting once a week at Catalyst coffee for some much needed caffiene and socialization.

I often get completely overwhelmed with the position of parent and I am sure that I am not alone. My life is further complicated by the lack of husband job stability and therefore income, having a health condition that makes any amount of energy difficult to achieve, and a whole slew of things. I know every parent has their own set of issues to overcome and there is no reason or need to search for equality in difficulty. Sometimes I observe other at home moms with expendable incomes and no comprehension of living with less. They tend to have more oportunities for alone time without the kids, which is vital to any parent trying to stay sane! Babysitters, Nannies, Double Jogging strollers, Trips and vacations, Gym memberships with childcare, and gas monies and cars for driving to and from activities. None-the-less they have a hard time squeezing in moments of solitude or adult conversations without interuption. Most certainly even these items that might be affordable carry with them the guilt that they are not with their children constantly. Any parent that is able to exist outside of the home for a minimum of an hour day, regardless of activity, will be refreshed with a new found sense of enjoyment out of their children. I am trying to remember this as I try to figure out what it is today that I want to do to refresh. Here I am at home and writing alone. This rare moment of quiet allows me to think and to reflect. Here is what I know: Women are amazing! Mothers are incredible! As a society we tend to underestimate and undervalue the job of giving birth and raising children. Finnally there is little real (non-judgmental, open, free, accepting, loving) support for mothers. Mothers are the greatest activists in the world and have the least amount of energy, time, and resources. This is why I am constantly amazed by the moms I know! I just have to remember to let their acomplishments serve to inspire not as something to judge myself by.

Lastly the greatest single feat a human can perform occured yesterday morning as K gave birth to a healthy baby girl! Once again I am amazed and inspired by her experience. Congratulations!

So they were giants!

2008-07-23T11:53:00.007-06:00

I have been a bad little blogger and have missed some great photo sharing, fun having, events. We went to the Denver Art museum with our friend K and her friend M and had a spectacular time. I was truly surprised by the numerous activities there were for kids. This is definately a place that you have to visit more than once. Our original intent was a fun family outing while gathering data for a class project that I had due in a few weeks.

Of course Daddy had to get a little kid throwing in. L is not quite the acrobat that little T is but he is still so much lighter than she is.
We meant to go back this summer and I am bummed that I missed the quilt exhibit but there are just so many fun things to do around here (without spending gas money).

Some of you might remember Kimber and Mikes dog Strider (yes a name from Lord of the Rings). He happened to get sick about a week ago and it was discovered that he had a couple of large cancerous masses. He is such a cool dog and at only 4 years old we are hoping for the best for him.

Here's lookin' at you pup!

No Bears.

2008-07-18T10:44:00.015-06:00

Our Red Feather Camping Trip

In June we headed up to Red Feather for a vacation. Thanks to cousin Scott we were able to locate a beautiful area in which to refresh our parched souls. It was soooo quiet and peaceful and we were happy to unleash our horde of wildness into the wilderness. We were hours from civilization and miles from any other human being. While mom's desire to see a bear up close and personal was not met, Dad was able to achieve a long time goal of pooping in the woods. Even daughter had previously met this acomplishment but for Dad this was a first time experience to not be near a structure designed for waste removal. (Sorry Dad but I just had to share;)) Here is our campsite.

Saturday we arrived and set up camp. After exploring and enjoying the peace a quite we retired. Warning to parents....children 5 and under do not sleep when camping and therefore neither do you! Sunday was spent with Mom nursing a migraine all day while trying to enjoy our trip. We were able to drive into Red Feather to purchase a fishing license for T. (She is the only one with a fishing pole.) We tested out one lake before deciding to move to a quieter area.
We swam, enjoyed playing with T's remote control boat, and even caught 1 fish. After returning to our campsite we explored and I was able to nap briefly to try and heal my head. Sun, heat, activity, and no sleep contributed to a whopper of a migraine.

That night we all slept........ ahhhhhh. Monday we went on a hike at a nearby area. T decided to become a "forest scientist" so she could fix the visibly ailing pine forest. After a short hike we returned to the campsite to pack up. Of course it decided to rain while we were taking down the tent. A wet tent is not so much fun to work with:) This provided some needed cooling and the kids were excited to have a little rain and thunder (natures fireworks).

Our camping site. Daughter took the pic of Dad, Mom, and son. L was ready for nap time but we pushed on to capture these moments.

Our family vacation 2008. Can't wait to go again!!!!!!!!!!!

Team Hoyt

2008-07-11T22:35:00.000-06:00

Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPSUrR3ipQc

Brief

2008-05-27T21:38:00.002-06:00

The kids and I are in Kansas spreading around the fun and the flu! We arrived in the midst of a nasty flu bug that Landis didn't develop until about 30 miles away from Pratt. Too late to turn back. The bug has run its course through Landis, me, Grandma Lee, Papa Ken, and now Aunt Katie and cousin Paxon. We are hoping the the remaining two uninfected individuals (Uncle Joe, and Teilee) will continue to avoid the nasty illness.
Meanwhile we have encountered several severe tornadic thunder storms and I am definitely not used to the anxiety. We had one twister that went through Cairo which was about 5 miles or so from Grandma Lee and Papas house. While the kids and I were visiting Katie, Joe, and Paxon, Mom and Dad had another tornado that was just South of them a few miles. .....and this isn't even tornado season!
Since last week we spent a majority of our time recovering from this stomach bug we are finally getting to really enjoy this beautiful Kansas experience. We have been able to catch some wild animals. A couple of box turtles that we captured got into a territorial fight before we set them free. Teilee and Landis have loved getting their hands onto a couple of toads. We have seen some snakes, crawdads, lots of beautiful birds. Teilee has enjoyed feeding the cats, dogs, and chickens. I promise to write more later of our fun time here.