Death and Pants

The kiddos and I were driving in the car tonight when the most interesting discussion occurred between Teilee and I. While Landis sang "I am a rock star" (by Pink) in the background we were simultaneously listening to "Knocking on Heaven's Door". Teilee was of course inquisitive about why this fellow was knocking on heaven's door. I explained several scenarios that could explain his lyrics, being careful to not reveal the answer nor to upset delicate emotions surrounding death. Teilee thinks about this for a while and is silent, the music continuing in the background and Landis persisting with his rendition of a loud pop song. After a while Teilee asks, "Mommy will you take me to Heaven's door"? I asked her why and she of course said that she wanted to say hello to someone. "Who would that be?", I asked smiling. "Great Grandma", was her reply. I said while we are up there we could say hello to Strider too (our neighbors old dog who when he died we discussed how he would help keep Great Grandma company). We continued to discuss Great Grandma, death, and the inability to get to Heaven's door until she had enough of sad things and moved on to the happy side of life. Her little brain processes things in such a philosophical and profound way. I try to not insert my own logic into the mix (which is soooo hard for me to not do). When I am able to let her 'thinks' (her word) find her voice on her own I am constantly amazed at the things she teaches me!

So entirely random but still needed to share. We went to the museum yesterday. Oh yes, we saw the dinosaurs and Teilee recognized almost every single one by their fossil skeleton. She ever had to set Daddy straight on a few;) I will have to share some pictures of that experience sometime. However, when we returned home I took to the massive pile of laundry. (We thought we had caught up with moms help the previous weekend, but we were wrong.) Despite my exhaustion and constant dreading of folding and putting away I was able to drag myself to the chore. As I was folding Landis' pants I realized that these could be the smallest pants I was ever to fold again. If indeed we are done having children (which some days I think we are, and some days I think we aren't), then once Landis grows out of those size 2T pantsm, they will disappear from my laundry. Sometimes it is easy to forget how fleeting these chores are (or at least at this magnitude) and how we will miss seeing their tiny pants and socks in those massive piles of laundry. If I can keep this in mind every time I fold, I swear it will be a loving, beautiful, wonderful experience. Then when Teilee is 20 and Landis is 17, and I inevitably come across one of their size 2T pairs of pants I will think longingly of that time when they could wear them but I will also remember that I cherished it then too.