New Do

In an attempt to empower myself and to save a few extra bucks I cut my own hair today.

This is the after shot. Mind you it is not styled, curled, or blow dried but since that is usually how I roll I needed a cut that would look good without attention. Nick helped me with an even cut in the back and then I went to town on the layers. Having some natch wave and thick locks definitely benefited me. I have been cutting Teilee's, Landis', and Nick's hair for a long time and from now on maybe I will do my own too. It is convention that tells us that we must have this done by a professional. I say it's my hair and I will do what I want to. If all else fails I have the shears that I use to buzz cut Nick's hair (beard hair right now) short. I can always go bald too!:)

This weekend we had two stand out events. One being the Raintree Charter School Meeting. Exciting things happening there and great people involved. Even though it was hard I stuck to my boundaries and didn't throw my name into the ring of contention for a seat on the Steering Committee. I think my skills will be better served in a supporting role anyways. To see a community of support for this is wonderful and I say it is about time that this town had a school like this.

The second being the deflowering of our Settlers game with our friend De. (Yes, Kara I am ashamed to say that was the first time we played our own game. It seems that people who know how to play usually have their own set.) Even though we invited her over for dessert and games, she winded up providing all of the dessert. Ummmm.....those choco covered strawberries are still on my mind. We have been needing to do that for a while and unfortunately Mr. De was out of town. Next time we will have a four player game. I have to say that it took me years of playing Settlers before I made it past 6 points. In her first time ever De earned 7 points and was in near contention for first. Nick and I are baffled at how she picked it up so quickly. Lots of fun, too much wine, too much chocolate, and I can't wait to do it again!

This week we have a busy one, that's no surprise. Tomorrow we are meeting with our 'financial advisor' who has already worked some miracles with us.
Nick will have school this week but no UPS. He is on vacation from UPS which means he will be able to work more hours at his day job. He is still restructuring his work schedule to allow for the night course.
And now some catch up pics........



Landis loves the cream cheese. This was the day he snuck into the kitchen, pulled the cream cheese out of the fridge, put some crackers on a plate, got a butter knife out of the drawer and started spreading. After a few crackers had been adequately dosed with the cream cheese he decided it was a lot more fun to slice off pieces to go directly into his mouth.


















My two lovies nursing their babies.

















Flying high at the park. Landis never misses an opportunity for mommy or daddy to go "un'neath", or to kick us to the ground! Teilee is a pro at the swings and loves to show off her skills!



















My crocodile and my ghost. Teilee helped assemble this costume for Landis one day and he walked up and down the house booing. She then equipped herself with the croc suit and roared along with him. I had to include all three pics. One they are sounding off, the other they are giving me the same squinty smile, and the third just shows their bond. There have been many occasions where I will catch Teilee just randomly telling Landis she loves him. He refuses to hold mommies hand when Teilee's is the alternative. I love that they adore each other and this impromptu hand holding is not a rare occasion. I am just glad I captured it on film.













Hope you have a bootacular day! Write you later alligators!

Why I hate Doctor shopping

I have been completely unfocused and scatterbrained this week. It could be the sinus infection, lack of sleep, of the added stress of Nick going to school. Regardless I feel the need to write something even with my filter off. Brace yourselves.......

We have been trying to find a new doctor. While I would love to have a naturopathic doc, or to just go back to our kinesiologist, I really need a traditional physician (one who accepts insurance). Teilee's toe walking is creating issues in her leg, knee, hip, and foot development. She may need to wear braces and or special shoes to correct this. I am hoping it won't be the Forest Gump kind.:) Whatever they are, we will call them her magic shoes and let her show them off to every person she meets. We tried out our first doctor today who came highly recommended by Grandma Betty back in the day. The first and only requirement that I have is that our new doctor needs to respect my decisions as a mother and be open to what it is I am doing. At least to not criticize or tell me that they know better. Most everything I am doing comes backed up with research, I am not making decisions based on a whim. You can imagine today when the doctor went to check out Landis' intact penis I was immediately on guard. Current research shows that there is no, I repeat no need to give any special care to an uncircumcised penis. There is no need to pull back the foreskin and clean the area. This is a natural part of a male body that, when the child is ready and able, he will clean and tend to whatever needs to be tended to. IN FACT retracting the foreskin can actually cause damage and problems. When a boy is around 5 years old he will be taught to retract and clean when it is necessary. Cleanliness is not an issue for most males. I have heard of only two cases where circumcision was necessary and one of those was a gentleman who would have no access to any bathing for years and worked with manure. The other was a sheep farmer in Kansas that had a hard time keeping sheep manure away from his member (yeah, I wondered why too). Why the rant...well....the first thing this doctor does when he checks Landis over is to pull back my sons foreskin. It has never been retracted, has developed normally, has had no infections, and there was absolutely no need. As I protested the doctor persisted. I was nearly pulling my son of the table when he finally stopped. Then he proceeded to tell me what he was doing and why (a little late a**hole). As if I had never heard what to do with my 2 year old's member before. I explained the research that I had read that was supported by 2 other doctors that we had seen in the last year. He had the audacity to say, "Isn't that interesting, you hear different things from different sources." And then proceeded to tell me why those other doctors were wrong. Regardless of what he knew to be true, here I was a mother clearly objecting to what he was doing and being invalidated. According to him I had no right to do what I thought was right for my child because he was clearly the superior. The entitlement he felt was completely inexcusable and yet runs rampant through the medical field. I am so tired of the neglect and abuse (yeah abuse) that my children have recieved by those that I hire to help me care for them. You may not agree with what I am doing, but I have a right to educate myself and make an informed decision about the welfare of my child. Please respect that or shove it where the sun don't shine!

Winter Pic to follow the unfiltering

Unfiltered

Okay everyone has been there. When you are trying so hard to keep it all together and all you feel like doing is falling to pieces. Bed seems to be a formidable option to the existence that normally would lull you from its clutches. Gratitude for the people, events, and places in your life struggles to overcome the enlightenment of your overwhelming circumstances. I know that we have all been there when it is trying and difficult to maintain a balance between what pulls you down and what props you up.
I live an existence that permits me to find joy in the little things and to experience the benevolence of open minded people. I fight a stereotype that constantly tries to overpower my existence. I have tried to undermine these and play them as insignificant factors in what determines my day to day survival. I use the term survival because that is what beckons at my door when I lose a moment of focus or succumb to illness. It is difficult in a system that is set against me, to rise up and regain my composure.
I do this through my work. I work at being healthy, I work hard. I work at financial stability, I work hard. I work at raising children, I work hard. I work at all of my extra endeavors and yes I work hard there too. And yet my stereotype tells me that I could work harder. That I should work harder. That I can succeed if I just work harder. This is what our society believes, wants to believe. If the system is unjust, if it could happen to us, if the story of overcoming all obstacles isn't true, than we don't want to exist in that world. We have to believe that hard work is the answer. We shade the truth with rose colored glasses because we crave simplicity. It hurts me that people believe that if we solve our complex problems we shall succeed. This flosses and glosses over the reality that it is today a crap shoot and tomorrow we all could be victims of a system. We blind ourselves to those that need because we all have pain and misery. How unfortunate that we rob ourselves of true generosity. That we refuse to give unless there is a benefit, unless there is progress, unless we see the results, unless we ourselves are perfectly stable. How unfortunate that we tell millions of people that they are to blame, and they are the reason, and they made their choices. How ignorant.
I am exhausted in refuting the belief that I have not earned an existence beyond what I have. That I have not made the choices necessary or absorbed the knowledge deemed vital.
I am sickened by the superiority to which people exclaim that they have earned it because of what they have gone through, what they have endured. Emotional, physical, and spiritual health do not grant or guarantee. Those who work hard in their jobs forget that they did not have to work harder than their jobs (or 5 jobs) to get to somewhere, anywhere. They were allowed their brass ring, their extravagance while making mistakes and remaining unwhole. Their outcome was not determined by their status. Their status was determined by their outcome.
I am for the majority happy and content. Every person has their demon and mine tends to be one of those that draws little to no empathy or sympathy. Yet I have found where I need to be to love, and laugh, and live, and yes to give.
Despite your situation, and without your belief, stand and help, stand and give. You shall receive no joy or hope, you are not supposed too. To benefit a broken system we all must rise and exclaim loudly through our actions, "The world will benefit from my existence despite and because of my stereotype and my fight."


My goal this year is to unfilter as much as possible and to dispel the myths of a generation. I can't wait to share how it goes.........