Feb 28, 2009

Two in one night, what's up!

So I decided that most of my writing is dark and often dreary and I wanted to change it up. I began thinking about the wonderful times had with my children at our local park. What started as a lovely piece on the wonders of our playground, turned into a short essay about poop. I don't know how I do it?:) This one is a work in progress but when it has been progressed I think I might post it at our local park.

Here is that essay:

The grass all but crunched beneath my feet. If it weren’t for the melting frost the grass would cease to squish and would burst into flames. Never have the blades been so parched for moisture. The ground counts, in drops, the iced dew that dabbles on the ragged grass. I step swiftly sideways to avoid the droppings that are quite certainly from a dog whose owner could not lazily stroll to the plastic bag receptacle to obtain a much needed and almost always provided baggie. Occasionally I reminisce about the rumors of coyotes in this area, somehow the possibility that this pile could be that of a wild animal makes it much more palatable. If only that were coyote poop I could excitedly show my children the wonders of wildlife. However, being highly trained in the identification of scat, I can correctly identify it as that of a negligent pet owner. This is a destination location. There is not a dog owner that visits this park that does not understand what their pet intends to do there. Clearly my children’s feet need not to tramp confidently, carelessly through a field. We are apparently undeserving of our soccer field, and kite flying meadow when a dog’s bowel is needy. We are accustomed to the inability of rolling down a hill at a moment’s notice. We are educated on the way in which to step nimbly over the obstacle. Do these dogs not head home with smears on their paws? Do they not recognize their own consequences and suffering? I wonder if the owners, noticing the dry ground, believed that their contribution to our park would provide earthly nourishment. Of course my justifications are only another sign of my ability to see half full.

Old Poem

I wrote this a while ago, I may have already shared it. I don't think I considered it complete at the time and so there is no title. Here it is in all its graphic strangeness:

You exist on the scraps of my soul,

Feeding hungrily on the carnage that was me,

Like a wolf ravenously devouring the remnants of kill,

You have so bathed in the blood of my death.

What I was, what I could have been,

I am but a shadow,

A fragment of bone in the grass that was once a majestic and prized pelt.

The whispered rumors of strength and beauty are all that remain.

You have stolen the future.

Feb 18, 2009

I can't even keep track of myself!

I have written about a dozen blogs and not published a one of them.
We have had lots going on and most of my blogs have had tons of boring, blah, often negative things that I really don't think you want to hear.

We really have had a lot going on so this will be my sorta journal update!

The Low Down:

Landis will not stop singing Wagon Wheel. It's first thing he asks for in the morning and the last thing he wants to hear before going to sleep at night. We are Wagon Wheeled out! I have tried to get him interested in other songs only to have those become obsessions along with Wagon Wheel. At least he is expanding his repitoire, but please Landis no one wants to hear the same song a million times!
Here he fell asleep while with me at the computer!

Nick is now in school 3 nights a week. He is working a day job, and a night job. On the nights he has school he goes to his night job after class. He has expanded and is now pursing two home businesses. They are BeatNick Audio and a new woodworking business building solid wood kids toys. He is home 2 hours in the late afternoon, these are precious hours.

I am partaking in a home school co-op, and also working in my spare time on helping to establish a Waldorf inspired Charter School. I also have been working hard to find as many fun and fulfilling activities that I can. I am part of several different groups: A birth activist group, a book club, and a monthly singing group. All are just fun and fabulous for me!

Teilee has had several orthopedist visits and I finnally found a doctor who recommends getting orthodics to stabilize her foot and add in calf stretching exercises, then wait to see what happens. Basically all the research I have done says the same thing and I am happy to have found an experienced doctor. The only problem now is getting insurance to pay for it. Unnecessary surgery they will pay for, but they won't help with the much cheaper and more helpful orthodics.

Teilee has been a vibrant little helper these days and has even assisted in putting Landis to bed and in tending to a sick mommy. Her in depth knowledge of dinosaurs grows along with her curiosity. She has resorted to telling mommy and daddy the hip type of each dinosaur. I have no idea if she is right, I don't have that kind of memory. I have got to get this child to the Denver museum. I believe they have a free day next month and I intend to take her. She has also stated that we need to travel to Canada, Australia, and Germany to see certain
dinosaur fossils. She was concerned though that if we traveled for longer than a day that we would have to sell our house, get rid of our cats, and move there. Of course I just thought that was so sad that she has never had a real vacation or even a visit to grandparents that involved both Nick and I for longer than two days. She doesn't understand the concept.

She is in the barrel in this picture. It was an elaborate pulley system that she a some other kiddos came up with. They would climb into the barrel from the bridge and then lower each other down to the ground.

We are still struggling financially, but have had a ton of support lately that has made me feel so positive about the future. It is still difficult that when I need a new bra, or the kids need a new pair of shoes that these things have now been deemed unnecessary and quite frankly just not possible. We are headed in the right direction though so hopefully this will be temporary (if you don't count the last 4 years).

We have recently begun our house re-vamp/spring cleaning/decorating/finishing projects. We tackled the living room last weekend and discovered our need for shelves. I didn't want to spend money and knew that I had some extra books so this happened........

They work great for all the little knick knacks and it looks like the books are floating on the wall. I love it and they were free!

Then I kept working......

We took another bookshelf, chopped its legs off and put them inside the bookshelf as shelves. I brightened up the paint and hung it vertically instead of horizontally and walla, insta shelf (on the right). Then I painted the mirror red over a pastel green and scuffed it up. It turned out great too. I intend to paint the red doors, accent walls, and all of the trim in our house white, then next month we will paint our kitchen cabinets white. Then either our appliances or our counter or something fabulous will be red. I am so ready to get our house in shape and am excited to flex my creativity. As long as I can keep it free or almost free I am sure I will be able to do almost everything that I want to. Thank god for freecycle, and craigslist and my already abundant supply of decorating, painting, remodeling gear!

I am craving some creative writing so be prepared for something in the near future that does not include journaling or updating.

Busy busy busy and I have only included a portion of our lives I wish you had time for all of it......I wish I had time for all of it!

My new umberella!