Nick is working some crazy hours! Last night I hadn't even gone to sleep when he had to get up to go to work. He also went to bed way too late last night, but hopefully next week he will be able to sleep a bit more!

Landis apparently wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps and barely sleep more than an hour at a time. Of course this means that I must nurse him constantly just to get my own sleep.

I used to always be a chronic night owl, now I am a fall asleep standing up kinda gal. Today I found myself wiping furiously at the apparent mascara rings under my eyes. Being frustratingly unsuccessful I realized that I had not worn mascara and those were indeed the dark non-sleeping circles that I have earned as a mother. These bruise colored crescents, that no amount of makeup can 'freshen up', scream "Tired Mom Here!". Although, they are not out of place on this tousled uncut hair, unbrushed teeth, unwashed clothes of a person that I am. They only add to the ensemble that declares my latest station in life. Once discovered though I only admire them with a perverse since of accomplishment. Like my stretchmarks, and my stretching breasts, I have earned these. My progress as a woman can be traced across my body like counting the rings of a tree. My still protruding belly indicating the rude way in which my son was taken from my being. My uneven breasts a symbol of my dedication to the nutrition of my offspring. These are my battle scars, my road map, my mark of motherhood of which I am proud to declare. In all its beauty this is me now.

I wrote this awhile ago. It is probably unfinished yet, but the inspiration has vanished and so I am posting it as is.

The past month or so I have been exhausted and run down. First I suspected that it was just post semester sleepiness. Then I thought it was weather inducing Fibro. Then I thought I better go see a doctor, I am barely functioning. Turns out I have a 'raging' sinus infection. Oh, that's what that pain was. I have learned to tune out my aches and pains so well. It is survival instinct and truly necessary or I would be bed ridden for sure. It does have its down sides as I have several times ignored a migraine until I was hunched over the toilet throwing up. I try to catch that one sooner now. Honestly when you have constant aches and pain it is hard to determine what is foreign and fixable, and what is normal. I should be recovered from this latest sinus infection and ready to bust a move soon.

My friend just told me about this home remedy to prevent and help recover from illness. Once a week you put a drop or two of warm garlic oil in your ears. If you are already sick you put a whole dropperful every hour for at least three hours in the ear. (Make sure to insulate properly with a cotton ball.) Last week Landis seemed to be on the road to another ear infection and so we did the full dropper treatment and it seemed to help. Needless to say I am smelling a lot like garlic this week!

Here are a few shots of some of the fun stuff I made for Christmas this year.

The hat in the picture with Landis. And yes...that is Landis' new red purse.

This is a pillow case I made for Teilee out of her old shirts (super fast and cheap!).

These are scarfs that I made for all the great kids we know and love!!->

These are some of the gift tags I made for Delta's tag swap.

Had to include a random pic of Teilee with Santa. This year we took her because she asked us to. (I have always found it wierd that we take our kids screaming and kicking to go sit on some strange mans lap. What happened to stranger danger?)

Happy New Year!

Loving the Christmas Music!

Gearing up for Christmas.....way behind in my gifts.....way behind in my school preparations......way behind in my 'home work'.........totally lost all of my to-dos.



I found out that I only need 2 more classes in order to obtain my second Associates degree from Front Range. Truly that is not my goal here at this school, but it will help to get all the classes I can at this cheaper rate before heading to CSU. Now I really have to get to work on getting to CSU. Lots of things to figure out like: How in the f*** can I do this? Holy cow, last semester was rough, and I have a lot more to go. I wish the kids were older, but if they were than I would wish that I had my degree already. I know why I choose to go back now, but man I just wish it would get easier.



I decided (Nick agrees) that next year we will celebrate the Winter Solstice instead of Christmas. Also this will mean that we can celebrate the Summer Solstice too!! All of my religious research has led to the same conclusion for me. Do what feels right!

The kids are sick again. Tonight Landis was having a hard time keeping his balance and I am concerned about the possibility of a serious ear infection again! Last week Landis had a quick trip to the ER concerning a subluxation of the radial head (or something like that). It is called 'nursemaids elbow' and basically consist of the joint in the elbow becoming dislodged from the ligament that holds it in place. That is my basic understanding, all I know is that when pulling big sisters hair, from the front of the shopping cart while she is in the back, make sure that she can't grab your arm and pull really hard!! I guess it is really common and also likely to occur again if we aren't super super careful. Baby acrobatics have been put on hold unless the child can be firmly gripped only by the torso! Scared the sh** out of me to see him in so much pain with a sorta limp arm. At least the ER visit lasted only an hour (gotta be a record). As soon as the doctor was able to finagle the joint ligament back into place (took two painful tries) Landis was better in about 30 secs (no meds). He went from crying and laying on my chest to wriggling to get out of my grip, running down the hall in his little hospital gown, and waving bye to everyone (with the injured arm).

All I want for Christmas/Solstice is two healthy kids! I can't wait to post pictures of all the cool gifts I have been able to make so far. I always have such big plans! Maybe this year I will be able to finish them, but if that is to happen I probably had better go get to work!!!

Thanksgiving...and some

Whew what a week! Happy turkey day everyone (or what I call a good excuse to pig out on lots of food). I find myself constantly struggling to define each holiday to Teilee. "What? Oh, well today we celebrate the coming together of the pilgrims and the native Americans at a gigantic feast. Well....actually the pilgrims invaded the native Americans homeland, stole their land, abolished their way of living, and brought them lots of disease and death. I don't know why? Because we get to remember why we are thankful. Well.....I guess that we are thankful that we have each other, and good friends, and good food. No, I suppose you are right, the native Americans probably weren't very thankful. What? Well if you are Bugantheist(Buddhist/Pagan/Atheist) like us we will celebrate the winter solstice which is the longest day of the year. If you are Christian than you celebrate Jesus' birth. Well...actually he wasn't born in December. I don't know, somebody wanted this time of year to be Christmas. The tree?....To us it is a celebration of nature. Well....a fat man dressed in red sneaks into your house while you are sleeping. He eats all of the baked goods that we made. No....don't cry. He leaves you presents. What? I don't know why. Because he wants to reward you for being good all year. Well......you don't always get gifts just because you are good. I don't know. What? We get to tell everyone we love that we care about them by buying them chocolate and making cards. Well....there was a man named St. Valentine........well....he invented the holiday. Yes...that's cupid. If he shoots you with one of his arrows you will fall in love. No...it doesn't hurt (at least not the arrow). I don't know....magic! What? Easter? Please don't ask why!"

So it is hard to be absolutely logical with a child and do I ever wish I could resort to "because God made it that way." My child is never satisfied until I can properly explain every aspect. Honestly, aren't alot of our holiday traditions completely skewed by commercialism. We give to many gifts, we eat too much food, we buy to many decorations. This year simplicity is my goal to be grateful, to be loving, to be giving from the heart (not the wallet).



So I meant to post this a long time age but time caught up with me quickly. We had a very scary night the weekend before Thanksgiving where Teilee woke up and was unable to breath. A bad case of Bronchitis coupled with her asthma and swollen tonsils made for a scary situation. Fortunately I remembered that cold air can help and was able to dash her out into the freezing night so she could get some shallow breaths. Our neighborhood nurse saint, aka Delta, arrived shortly after she resumed breathing to confirm that she was okay. It was a sleepless night as I slept in her bed with her and helped her to slow her breathing every time she woke. I have started looking into some breathing techniques that reteach you how to breath and are said to be able to help with asthma and other lung issues. You know......in my spare time:)

Thanksgiving week Landis, Teilee, and I were all ill and we continue to have symptoms! Maybe by Winter Solstice we will be all better!:)

I am wrapping up finals week. Already got an A on one and subsequently and A in the class and I have my Micro final tomorrow. I have yet to study, but am confident that I will do fine. Good luck to all you others in the deep trenches of homework, cramming, and test taking!!!! See you on the other side for relaxing, non-stressful Christmas!

Our Night

So Landis got his flu shot and he was the most well behaved of tots,

the woman stabbed him with the needle and he didn't even cough,

no sputter or snivel only a slightly angry glare,

came from his little face a small inclining of despair,

then on to laughing and playing a most happy child,

and we thought, "man, this whole ordeal was pretty mild".

Than came the evening when our little babe laid down to rest,

and it was evident that the shot had an effect to say the least.

The sleep we had that night was intermittent and greatly disturbed,

as he cried all night long, except for two hours, that little turd!

Yes we are pretty darn tired and I have much to do, today has begun fairly slowly but is sure to pick up pace quickly. Much homework to do, many projects, lots of unfun stuff. In the meantime enjoy these pictures from topless soccer day, fun in the tree, and Halloween!

Nick said, 'be stoic Teilee'.

If you look closely the wick on the TNT has been lit! Look out!

Hay + Pumpkins + Wind + Sunflowers= One Great Day!

One windy day at the Pumpkin Patch: My Photo Journal

We are here! We are here! We are here!

Where's all my bloggers at? I am missing reading all of your updates. We are here, gearing up for Halloween and Delta's Birthday! Happy B-day! Also Happy Belated to all of my October birthdays! Teilee's snow goose costume is almost half-way made, and I haven't started on Landis' TNT costume. I figured if I don't get to his, he probably won't mind too much. This week my research paper is due, then next week another test, then the week after that my presentation. As always I just hope to survive without illness! I got my last test back and did much better. I missed some stupid questions, but am happy to be back in the security of an A. Wish me luck on what is promising to be a few crazy busy weeks! Happy Halloween! May the hob gobblin pass over your house without stealing the candy! Ours may get a requested visit, at least to steal the kids candy and deposit it into our laps!
Remember: "The Littlelest Birds Sing the Prettiest Songs." ---Be Good Tanyas

Two or more Club

The last 4 out of 5 weeks we have had illness. Five different viruses and counting! Holy cow, we had better have some freakin great immune systems after this fall! Hopefully I will feel well enough this weekend to make the kids' Halloween costumes, visit a pumpkin patch, write my research paper, take a quiz in my online course, organize the garage, etc......... There is no rest for the weary! I had my second test this week in Micro. and I think I did better this time round even though I was still sick. I also missed my first class of the semester this week. I hated doing it, but was so miserable I just needed to stay in bed.

So I wasn't able to post this when I wrote it and now the weekend is over! I was able to accomplish all of the above and more of my to-do list. Here is the thing about having two kids....you are sort of in this exclusive club. The 'beyond 1 club', the 'constantly exhausted club', the 'whoow are people really this busy? club', the 'how in the world do people do this? club'. I could never have imagined being able to (or having to do) all of the things we do in a single day. I could never have achieved the things we did this last weekend in an entire month. When I had Teilee I was able to take what I called a 'down day' every now and then. Watch a TV show, an occasional movie. I haven't had one of those, not even being sick, for at least a year. Kids work you in slowly too. When they are babies they sleep a lot and you think, 'Man this is a lot of work!'. Then they get active and you think, 'What was I complaining about? That was the honeymoon stage!'. Then your second comes and you imagine what crazy amounts of time you had with the first, to engage, to play, to do activities, to work! (Don't kill me parents of one, I remember how damn difficult that was too!) Now it is unfathomable the amount that I do, the lengths to which I stretch my body, my emotions, my person. So anyways about the club.... We members of the club, can say nothing and understand everything about the other parents crazy schedule. We marvel at how successfully the other one can achieve what they do. Be it volunteer work, school, side businesses, working outside the home, working at home, we all share an equal respect for the other parent. This respect is often conveyed at the grocery store, or the post office, or Taco Bell, with a sympathetic smile and courteous holding of the door. When you are a parent of one you are attended to by the adoring public. Awwwww... how cute you baby is...how old is he/she?....How wonderful of a parent you are....Here is the door....Have my chair.....Do you need any help? Parents of two are often shunned. We are the ones with the older obnoxious child that is very clearly craving attention due to the diversion of the second child. What bad parents we are that our first child is so clearly starved for attention that they are jumping up and down shouting at the top of their lungs. Can't we control our brats? This is clearly unacceptable behavior for a two/three/four/five year old. You shouldn't have had more than you could handle. We get a lot less help, a lot less admiration, a lot less consideration from our non-young-children-ridden public. Thus the reason for the club. When parents of the deuce club sit near each other in a restaurant and children run amok through the tables, it is a blessing to have found another sympathetic soul to gaze lovingly at our snotty, loud, obnoxious wild child. They know that under that demeanor there used to exist this perfect, quiet, well behaved, adorable only child. The downside of this club is that it is extremely exclusive. You may be a deuce sympathizer (a rarity and extremely valuable commodity) but unfortunately it is still an impenetrable society that is secret ridden and crazy busy! But here is the deal: We are the deuces, we are constantly busy, wondering how we are doing it, why we are doing it, and when is it going to get better, but we are every so grateful that we haven't entered the club of the tri-spawn!