Since when did giving the most I had equal an 87. It used to be medium effort= medium A. When did the 'know it all idiot' beat me in class. Since when did I get a B and was pleased. My new attitude makes me very miserable. The time spent away from the kids, away from family time, away from developing children is such precious time. I give everything I have to that time. It has to count, it has to matter, it has to be perfect. This is the expectation I have. When you are so drawn out, the lines blur, the time becomes irrelevant. I know that I have a tendency to be hard on myself, but I really do stand a better chance at getting into CSU graduate program (someday) if I do well in my courses. FOr this last test it didn't help that I had a sinus infection, I really was just lucky that I made it to class that day. Also our teacher is pretty sucky. I write down everything I can that she says in class. When I went back and reviewed previous notes after the class, there were quite a few things that she said weren't going to be on the test and they were key questions worth a mass amount of points. I think she teaches from the standpoint that her lectures are just a review of the information, as they are for her. Several times when we ask her questions about a certain topic she will respond that she isn't a virologist, or a bacteriologist, or whatever and so doesn't have a clue. Yet we are expected to know the subject inside and out. I guess applied knowledge counts for nothing. This is a competition to see who can memorize the book the best! What's funny is the teacher who taught our class last semester gave out test reviews that ended up being identical to the take home test he provided. Maybe I can track him down and ask him to substitute for our teacher, at least for the next test.
Okay, venting is over.
SO I have this theory, maybe I have already discussed this, called my 'thumbprint theory'. This is my theory that basically everyone you meet you leave your thumbprint on them and they in turn carry that out into the world in sort of a rippleing effect. When you are kind to someone, they will carry that good feeling with them and transmit it to someone else. When you are rude, or unkind their experience with your will be negative and that attitude will resonant out from them in their next human encounter. Okay, simplistic, kinda silly, but it helps me to think of that when I am dealing with people that aren't very pleasant. I try to leave a new refreshed happy thumbprint on them. ANyways, this has come up often in the last few weeks as we have been dealing with the computer technitians for my new computer. What a hassle. I have been disrespected, not taken seriously, and was so close to taking my computer back. (I love my new computer and really just need to work out a few kinks!) Also some chick at the children's consignment store had a beef with me, probably I was too nice. Maybe I am just having bad retail experiences, but I can not remember when the last time was that I had a positive experience at a store. Rude cashiers, rude sales people, rude customers, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude. What gives? Maybe my thumbprint is working in reverse right now:)
2 comments:
Yeah, good grades will often help you get to the next phase (ie--to grad school), but sometimes you just have to learn what you can in a class and not worry so much about the grade. That has been one of my favorite things about grad school--most students don't care so much about grades and just try to learn as much as they can (or have time for), and usually they end up with Bs or As, which are both equally acceptable. Different paradigm, at least for me, as from an undergrad. I've had terms in grad school where I didn't even know my grade from a class until months later. It just didn't matter.
Like the movie 'Pay It Forward,' except nobody dies.
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